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Children nowadays have fewer responsibilities compared to the past. Some people say that it is positive development for children but Others claim this is a negative development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Children nowadays have fewer responsibilities compared to the past. Some people say that it is positive development for children but Others claim this is a negative development. jD7kp
With the rise of urbanization and technology development across the world, kids from some countries taking fewer responsibilities than older children have become the subject of a heated debate. While it is possible to claim that it provides various benefits such as positive development for children, others maintain that the substantial side effects of negative development spark off the controversy over the potential impact of this trend on disadvantages over the past years. In this essay, I will elaborate on my points of view by analyzing both sides of the argument before deducting a proper conclusion. First of all, it is quite reasonable for me to believe that the idea of taking fewer responsibilities for the new generation than older children provides several merits. With the booming technology, they need to study hard and focus on their life by learning from home and school. For example, it has comprehensively contributed to the advancement of society such as culture and a human lifestyle in many ways. It is beneficial for both old and new generations across the world. On the other hand, those who argue that it is unfavorable have a different perspective and it has convincingly demonstrated that it can actually have a pessimistic impact on the community and it can cause a huge problem when they grow up. Moreover, it should be pointed out that there are multifarious concerns such as they have no sense of responsibility for their family and this is a negative development for them and these can be a significant factor to be considered. To sum up, considering what has been discussed above, it is my opinion that far-reaching positive effects, which have brought to society, far outweigh than harmful. Therefore, I strongly recommend that to keep this trend for the future and it is a positive development for children. However, there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of this trend, and societies can take conscious steps to mitigate these potential problems.
With the rise of urbanization and technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
across the world, kids from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries taking fewer responsibilities than older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have become the subject of a heated debate. While it is possible to claim that it provides various benefits such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, others maintain that the substantial side effects of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
spark off the controversy over the potential impact of this trend on disadvantages over the past years. In this essay, I will elaborate on my points of view by analyzing both sides of the argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deducting a proper conclusion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is quite reasonable for me to believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of taking fewer responsibilities for the new generation than older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
provides several merits. With the booming technology, they need to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and focus on their life by learning from home and school.
For example
, it has
comprehensively
contributed to the advancement of society such as culture and a human lifestyle in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. It is beneficial for both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and new generations across the world.

On the other hand
, those who argue that it is unfavorable have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective and it has
convincingly
demonstrated that it can actually have a pessimistic impact on the community and it can cause a huge problem when they grow up.
Moreover
, it should
be pointed
out that there are multifarious concerns such as they have no sense of responsibility for their family and this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
for them and these can be a significant factor to
be considered
.

To sum up, considering what has
been discussed
above, it is my opinion that far-reaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects, which have brought to society, far outweigh than harmful.
Therefore
, I
strongly
recommend that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
this trend for the future and it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, there will
undoubtedly
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of this trend, and societies can take conscious steps to mitigate these potential problems.
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IELTS essay Children nowadays have fewer responsibilities compared to the past. Some people say that it is positive development for children but Others claim this is a negative development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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