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Children in some parts of the world have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Some people think this as a positive change, however, others think of it as a negative change.

Children in some parts of the world have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Some people think this as a positive change, however, others think of it as a negative change. YVyK
In the current era, some people believe that, more responsibilities in child shoulder helps in the personal growth as well as contributes in the development of society but this is not true for other side of people. In my opinion decreased accountabilities allows children to develop their life in more focused way, as well as society can gets benefit out of it. However, the following essay will examine both pros and cons associated with the accountabilities. To begin with, the social economic and family structure of the past, in most of the countries, forced parent to distribute all the accountabilities among children. Most of the families were below poverty line and owing to the fact, children become first victims to deal with. At early stage of life, children are pushed to play a vital role to support family in all the aspects and unknowingly they bear massive amount of burdens on their shoulder. For instance, children start working at the age of 9 or under 10 by sacrificing their education, personal growth and more importantly childhood life. Consequently, with the lack of knowledge, children forced to work in the farms or small-scale industries. To the fact, this kind of working experience neither help children in personality development nor societies growth. However, “just a coin has two sides”, nowadays most of the countries are economically at very stable stage. Now families with the decent amount of financial resources, parents are more sensitive towards sharing the worldly worries on their children shoulder; subsequently which enables the child to enjoy innocence and true essence of childhood. Now children can focus on their education and personality growth which in turn lead growth of the society as well as country. To conclude, these days, we want our children to be the best scorer, best athlete, and outshine in everything they do unlike the past when parents wanted assistance from their offspring to support the family.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that, more responsibilities in child shoulder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
as well
as contributes in the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not true for other side of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In my opinion decreased
Possible spelling mistake found.
accountabilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop their life in more focused way,
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "get"
gets
benefit out of it.
However
, the following essay will examine both pros and cons associated with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
accountabilities
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the social economic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure of the past, in most of the countries, forced parent to distribute all the
Possible spelling mistake found.
accountabilities
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
were below poverty line and owing to the fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become
first
victims to deal with. At early stage of life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are pushed
to play a vital role to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in all the aspects and
unknowingly
they bear massive amount of burdens on their shoulder.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working at the age of 9 or under 10 by sacrificing their education, personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
and more
importantly
childhood life.
Consequently
, with the lack of knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
forced to work in the farms or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scale industries. To the fact, this kind of working experience neither
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in personality development nor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
growth.

However
, “
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a coin has two sides”, nowadays most of the countries are
economically
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
stable stage.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
with the decent amount of financial resources, parents are more sensitive towards sharing the worldly worries on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
shoulder;
subsequently
which enables the child to enjoy innocence and true essence of childhood.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can focus on their education and personality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
which in turn lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as well
as country.

To conclude
, these days, we want our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be the best scorer
A determiner is probably missing here: ", the best".
, best
athlete, and outshine in everything they do unlike the past when parents wanted assistance from their offspring to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
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IELTS essay Children in some parts of the world have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Some people think this as a positive change, however, others think of it as a negative change.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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