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Children facing acdmic social and commercial pressure. Cause and solution.

Children facing acdmic social and commercial pressure. Cause and solution. 0Mp2Q
In competitive era, children are pressuried and facing more and more acadmic, social and commercial challenge. In this essay discuss the cause of this pressure and suggestuon measure of the problem. I belive that children must be shielded from mountain pressure. There are numerous reason for acadmic pressure. To begin with, the children do not compare only with next to door children, even compare all over own's town and world. Parent want to their children excel in every field. They enroll their child in best school, but often the school bags heaviour then children themself. After a school they attend personal tution, therfore the children don't hve time to bloom and bring out their talent. There are also many social and commercial pressure. Today's children are in huge dilema. In other words, the children want to accept global culture, whereas parent's force them to learn tradition. Sometime children face peer pressure from their elders. This peer pressure, which is good, if the peers are good, and bad if the peers are not in disipline. This pressure leads the lots of stress and strain on children. Also, the latest technology like phones and laptops are effect on children stress level. The solution is not easy. The children need a certain care and attention. The parents should have relistic expactation from their child. The biggest onus to school teachers. They bring children in right way with fair compitition and co-operation to other. The main aim of compitation should be not to win at any cost. To teach them to win compitation with grace and enjoyed it. To conclusion, it can clearly seen that children face lots of pressure but it is solved by some steps and save the chilren's innocent childhood. Otherwise these all, effect on children growth on both physical and psychological.
In competitive era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
pressuried
and facing more and more
Possible spelling mistake found.
acadmic
, social and commercial challenge. In this essay discuss the cause of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
suggestuon
measure of the problem.
Did you mean "I believe"?
I belive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be shielded
from mountain pressure.

There are numerous reason for
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acadmic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not compare
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with
next
to door
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, even compare all over
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "owns"?
own's
town and world. Parent want to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
excel in every field. They enroll their child
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the best".
in best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
bags
Possible spelling mistake found.
heaviour
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
. After a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they attend personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
tution
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
therfore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don't
Possible spelling mistake found.
hve
time to bloom and bring out their talent.

There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social and commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are in huge
Possible spelling mistake found.
dilema
.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
want to accept global culture, whereas parent's force them to learn tradition. Sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
from their elders. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
are not in
Possible spelling mistake found.
disipline
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
leads the lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and strain on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Also
, the latest technology like phones and laptops are effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level.

The solution is not easy. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need a certain care and attention.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
parents should have
Possible spelling mistake found.
relistic
Possible spelling mistake found.
expactation
from their child.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
biggest onus to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
teachers. They bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in right way with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
Possible spelling mistake found.
compitition
and co-operation to other. The main aim of
Possible spelling mistake found.
compitation
should be not to win at any cost. To teach them to win
Possible spelling mistake found.
compitation
with grace and enjoyed it.

To conclusion, it can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
face lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
is solved
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps and save the
Possible spelling mistake found.
chilren
's innocent childhood.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
these all, effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growth on both physical and psychological.
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IELTS essay Children facing acdmic social and commercial pressure. Cause and solution.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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