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children education, home schooling versus classic old school-attending system

children education, home schooling versus classic old school-attending system w7kOd
It is often argued by some people that home schooling is more beneficial than classic school attending one, in my opinion, both choices have some advantages and disadvantages, I will outline some of these differences and give few examples to support my ideas. First of foremost, home schooling allows parents to customize their own children training programs in a more suitable way to allow them learning maximum maters in a joyful and friendly environment, for example, you can go for a walk in the park and seize the opportunity to teach your children about the environment or plants species. Another major advantage of home schooling is that it is not timely restricted, since children have different rhythm of learning in a sense that, some are slow learners but more creative while other can be fast learners. I think this is an important parameter to be considered in order not put young individuals in an unnecessary stress to learn many subjects in a pre-defined time frame. Classic school attending, in the other hand, also has its advantages, mainly because it allows children to acquire strong social skills with people in the same age and with similar interests, moreover, the programs given in school are meticulously studied to be adequate to children’ mind development. Furthermore, social skills are equally important to other science matters for young’s education, as it will prepare them for real life situations which crucial for having a normal interactions with their surrounding environment. In conclusion, both scholarship systems could be beneficial because both could affect positively the young’s education, for sure the outcome of every education system would have a different impact on the children growth, therefore, a combination of both of them would grant higher level on education.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
is more beneficial than classic school attending one, in my opinion, both choices have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages, I will outline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these differences and give few examples to support my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

First
of foremost,
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
parents to customize their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
training programs in a more suitable way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them learning maximum maters in a joyful and friendly environment,
for example
, you can go for a walk in the park and seize the opportunity to teach your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about the environment or plants species.

Another major advantage of
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
is that it is not timely restricted, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
rhythm of learning in a sense that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are slow learners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more creative while other can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
learners. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parameter to
be considered
in order not put young individuals in an unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
subjects in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-defined
time frame.

Classic school attending, in the other hand,
also
has its advantages,
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to acquire strong social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the same age and with similar interests,
moreover
, the programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in school are
meticulously
studied to be adequate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’
mind development.

Furthermore
, social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to other science matters for young’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, as it will prepare them for real life situations which crucial for having a normal
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "interaction"?
interactions
with their surrounding environment.

In conclusion
, both scholarship systems could be beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both could affect
positively
the young’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, for sure the outcome of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system would have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growth,
therefore
, a combination of both of them would grant higher level on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.

IELTS essay children education, home schooling versus classic old school-attending system

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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