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Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are the possible risks and the benefits of this?

Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are the possible risks and the benefits of this? NlR2j
Televisions are the most popularly used devices by children for entertainment. Earlier, books, newspapers, or outdoor activities were popular among children, but toddlers today, have been spending majority of their time watching television as compared to the past. This essay outlines the negative and positive effects of this change. Televisions are extremely attractive and addictive and hence pose risks to children. To illustrate further, televisions attract many children from all age groups as the content caters to every age group. Consequently, they get glued to watching shows and cartoons that do not assist in the holistic development of the mind and just provide information that is useless. Secondly, constant staring at screens has negative affects on the eyesight. As a result, many children aged 8-12 wear spectacles which is usually worn by the aged. On the other hand, televisions pose various benefits if the information consumed is moderated. Televisions can be used for educational purposes by inducing audio visual content in the pedagogy of learning. Scientists have proven that children relate more to audio visual content rather than textual content. Additionally, children are extremely aware of current technologies and televisions aid the use of internet as well. All information is available online and televisions act as a catalyst to gather and provide this information. Therefore, children posses a lot of knowledge on technology and how it functions. In conclusion, every change in the world has its advantages and disadvantages. However, televisions are considered detrimental to the development of children when overused and exploited. Whereas, when used in moderation, televisions can actually promote the education of the child.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Televisions
are the most
popularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
devices by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for entertainment. Earlier, books, newspapers, or outdoor activities were popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
toddlers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, have been spending
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
their time watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
as compared to the past. This essay outlines the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Televisions are
extremely
attractive and addictive and
hence
pose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To illustrate
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from all age groups as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
caters to every age group.
Consequently
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
glued to watching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and cartoons that do not assist in the holistic development of the mind and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that is
useless.
Secondly
, constant staring at screens has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
affects on the eyesight.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
aged 8-12 wear spectacles which is
usually
worn by the aged.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
pose various benefits if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
consumed
is moderated
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Televisions
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for educational purposes by inducing audio visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
in the pedagogy of learning. Scientists have proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
relate more to audio visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
rather
than textual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
extremely
aware of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
technologies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
aid the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet
as well
. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is available online and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
act as a catalyst to gather and provide this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
posses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
knowledge on technology and how it functions.

In conclusion
, every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the world has its advantages and disadvantages.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
are considered
detrimental to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when overused and exploited. Whereas, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in moderation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
can actually promote the education of the child.
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IELTS essay Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are the possible risks and the benefits of this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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