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children are now less active in their free time than in the past

children are now less active in their free time than in the past Lr07r
Nowadays, the activities of children decreased each year in comparison with the past. I am of the view that these activities serve a significant role in having healthier body and are regarded as a way to have better evolution and hence, school need to pay special attention to sports lesson without forcing them to do it. physical activity improves children’s mental well-being. Some children are obese because of too little exercises Not only the obese children, but also underweight ones to more exercise to be healthier. It is well-established fact that a tide of opinion is running now steadily against school to do not force children to do some extreme activities. Firstly, an active of school can lead to reduce potential risks of serious diseases such as diabetes, obesity or more dangerously heart attack. This is due to the fact that secondary students take special lessons on a regular basis, leading to strengthening stamina, flexibility and building up a better body. Secondly, the opportunity to take part in sporting classes is possibly a great way to relieve stress and put down the burdens of studying in the classroom. For example, I remember participating in sport lesson every other day during high school, which was extremely pleasurable and helped me concentrate on a classroom context. To sum up, if we want to have a healthier child, we should care about their exercises that It can lead them to the body structure.
Nowadays, the activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
decreased each year
in comparison
with the past. I am of the view that these activities serve a significant role in having healthier body and
are regarded
as a way to have better evolution and
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
need to pay special attention to sports lesson without forcing them to do it.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
physical
activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
mental well-being.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are obese
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
exercises Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
underweight ones to more exercise to be healthier. It is well-established fact that a tide of opinion is running
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
steadily
against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to do not force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extreme activities.

Firstly
, an active of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of serious diseases such as diabetes, obesity or more
dangerously
heart attack.
This is due to the fact that
secondary students take special lessons on a regular basis, leading to strengthening stamina, flexibility and building up a better body.
Secondly
, the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in sporting classes is
possibly
a great way to relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and put down the burdens of studying in the classroom.
For example
, I remember participating in sport lesson every other day during high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which was
extremely
pleasurable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me concentrate on a classroom context.

To sum up, if we want to have a healthier child, we should care about their exercises that It can lead them to the body structure.
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IELTS essay children are now less active in their free time than in the past

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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