Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. 92kn
Nowadays, the development of science and technology, children spent their free time to watch TV or play video games instead of playing sports activity. I totally agree that the school need to give obligatory sports to their graduation program some people believe that sports lesson is not more important than another subjects. Teenagers prefer studying to gifted subject as arts or music. In addition, some student have problem with their health and medical so that they cannot take part in obligatory sport in their class. On the other hand, sports bring many benefits. Firstly, they can learn how to make teamwork, help each other to become the winner. This is an important skill for success in the future. Secondly, a few children are not successful in their education path but they become to professional athlete. In my high school, my classmate was Nam, he did not enjoy with any subject like math, history…but he loved swimming so much. Therefore his parents encourage him to concentrate on his favorite subject. Now he is gym teacher, he teaches the children who feel interested with sports. Besides that, sports can help children to have a good health and flexible so that they may improve their focus on other things In summary, sports lessons is play important role to develop metal well-being for the children
Nowadays, the development of science and technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spent their free time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV or play video games
instead
of playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activity. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the school need to give obligatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to their graduation
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
program


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
lesson is not more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
prefer studying to gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
as arts or music.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
student have problem with their health and medical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in obligatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
Firstly
, they can learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
teamwork,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other to become the winner. This is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
for success in the future.
Secondly
, a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not successful in their education path
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they become to professional athlete. In my high school, my classmate was Nam, he did not enjoy with any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
like math, history…
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
swimming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
his parents encourage him to concentrate on his favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
he is gym teacher, he teaches the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who feel interested with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health and flexible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their focus on other
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
things


In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
lessons is play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to develop metal well-being for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts