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Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. 17nA
Currently, youngsters tend to spend their freetime staying at home rather than being outdoors. This means that very few do sports outside of school. I agree with the idea that schools can facilitate for children to become fit and healthy by involving them in sports lessons. In this essay, I wil explain why. Nowadays, many families are caught up in their children's education with a desire that children have well-paid jobs in the future, but they forget to teach them a healthy lifestyle. Some people say sports lesson is a waste of time, they don't know that one of the most essential things to have a good health are regular exercise and sports. Children's mentals well-being can be improved by physical activity. From my point of view, studying all the time will make you stressed. Doing exercise can refresh your mind. In addition, sports help children learn discipline and working with others as a team. Sports can teach children a number of disciplines such as working on time, following right techniques and regulations. . . Participate in team sports, they can realize the necessary of solidarity, which is an important element in work to succeed in doing great things. It can be concluded that sports will help children be more confident and energetic in life. Moreover, if teenagers don't play sports, they will suffer from heart diseases when they get older. The governmant will have to pay a lot of money on medical care. In conclusion, I completely believe that sports lessons must be obligatory in schools because of utilities. However, let the children choose their favourite sports that make them joyfully take part in.
Currently
, youngsters tend to spend their
Possible spelling mistake found.
freetime
staying at home
rather
than being outdoors. This means that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
outside of school. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that schools can facilitate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become fit and healthy by involving them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
lessons. In this essay, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
wil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families
are caught
up in their children's education with a desire that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have well-paid jobs in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they forget to teach them a healthy lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
lesson is a waste of time, they don't know that one of the most essential things to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health are regular exercise and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Children's
Possible spelling mistake found.
mentals well-being
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by physical activity. From my point of view, studying all the time will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
. Doing exercise can refresh your mind.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn discipline and working with others as a team.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a number of disciplines such as working on time, following right techniques and regulations.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Participate in team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they can realize the necessary of solidarity, which is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element in work to succeed in doing great things. It can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be more confident and energetic in life.
Moreover
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
don't play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they will suffer from heart diseases when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
governmant
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on medical care.
In conclusion
, I completely believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
lessons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be obligatory in schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of utilities.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
choose their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
joyfully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in.
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IELTS essay Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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