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CHILDREN ARE FACING MORE PRESSURE NOWADAYS FROM ACADEMIC,SOCIALAND COMMERCIAL PRESPECTIVES WHAT ARE THE REASONS OF THESE PRESSURES AND SOLUTIONS TO SOLVE

CHILDREN ARE FACING MORE PRESSURE NOWADAYS FROM ACADEMIC, SOCIALAND COMMERCIAL PRESPECTIVES WHAT ARE THE REASONS OF THESE PRESSURES AND SOLUTIONS TO SOLVE qVy3D
IT IS TRUE THAT MOST OF THE TEENAGERS AROUND THE WORLD ARE FACING IMMENSE STRESS IN THEIR RESPECTIVE FIELDS SUCH AS ACADEMICS, SOCIAL AND COMMERCIAL. STUDENTS ARE THE FUTURE OF AN ECONOMY. SO THEY SHOULD BE GIVEN THE STRESS- FREE LIFE. THE REASONS BEHIND THESE TENSIONS COULD BE THE PRESSURE FROM PARENTS AND SCHOOLS. THIS ESSAY WILL NOT ONLY ANALYSE THE REASONS BUT ALSO SUGGEST SOME SOLUTIONS TO SOLVE THESE PROBLEMS. TO COMMENCE WITH, HAVING INNUMERABLE RATIONALE THAT WHY CHILDREN ARE HAVING ANXIETY IN THEIR LIFE. FIRSTLY, EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS ARE GIVING AN ENORMOUS BURDEN ON THE STUDENTS, BY GIVING THEM A LOT OF HOMEWORK, SYLLABUS, AND FREQUENT EXAMINATIONS. THIS MAKES STUDENTS PRESSURIZED TO STUDY MORE AND MORE. SECONDLY, PARENTS USUALLY COMPARE THEIR CHILD WITH OTHER PERSON DECREASES THE VALUE OF THEIR CHILD, AND SPENDING LESS TIME WITH THEIR BOY AND GIRL. THEREFORE, MANY OF THE YOUNG PUPILS ARE INFLUENCED BY THE ADVERTISEMENTS OF COSTLY MATERIALS SUCH AS CLOTHES, MOBILES, WATCHES FOR WHICH TEENAGERS FORCE THEIR PARENTS TO GET IT BUT MANY OF THE PARENTS CAN NOT AFFORD IT SO WHICH MAKES THEIR CHILDREN FEEL LOW. TO OVERCOME THESE PROBLEMS, HERE ARE SOME OF THE SUGGESTIONS WHICH MIGHT HELP TO REDUCE THE PRESSURE. FIRST OF ALL, GOVERNMENT SHOULD MAKE AN LAW TO REDUCE THE SYLLABUS AND NUMBER OF TESTS WHICH WILL BRING DOWN THE ACADEMIC PRESSURE. SECONDLY, MOTHER AND FATHER SHOULD SPEND AN ADEQUATE TIME WITH THEIR PUPILS AND TO NOT COMPARE THEM WITH OTHERS. MOREOVER, THE COUNTRY'S ADMINISTRATION SHOULD BAN THE HIGH-PRICED PROMOTIONS TO LESSEN THE COMMERCIAL PRESSURE. TO CONCLUDE, THE REASONS BEHIND THE STRESS MAINLY ARE THE BURDEN OF STUDY IN SCHOOLS DUE TO LARGE SYLLABUS AND REGULAR EXAMS AND HARASSMENT BY PARENT TO THEIR CHILD WHICH LED THEIR CONFIDENCE DOWN AND MAKE THEM FEEL PRESSURIZED AND, TREND OF EXPENSIVE THINGS MAKE YOUNGSTERS FEEL MORE STRESSED. THESE PROBLEMS COULD BE SOLVED BY ABOVE MENTIONED MEASURES
IT IS TRUE THAT MOST OF THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TEENAGERS
AROUND THE WORLD ARE FACING IMMENSE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STRESS
IN THEIR RESPECTIVE FIELDS SUCH AS ACADEMICS, SOCIAL AND COMMERCIAL. STUDENTS ARE THE FUTURE OF AN ECONOMY.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
THEY SHOULD BE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STRESS
- FREE LIFE. THE REASONS BEHIND THESE TENSIONS COULD BE THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRESSURE
FROM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARENTS
AND SCHOOLS. THIS ESSAY WILL NOT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
Possible spelling mistake. 'ANALYSE' is British English.
ANALYSE
THE REASONS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
ALSO
SUGGEST
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
SOLUTIONS TO SOLVE THESE PROBLEMS. TO COMMENCE WITH, HAVING INNUMERABLE RATIONALE THAT WHY CHILDREN ARE HAVING ANXIETY IN THEIR LIFE.
FIRSTLY
, EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS ARE GIVING AN ENORMOUS BURDEN ON THE STUDENTS, BY GIVING THEM
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A LOT OF
HOMEWORK, SYLLABUS, AND FREQUENT EXAMINATIONS. THIS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MAKES
STUDENTS PRESSURIZED TO STUDY MORE AND MORE.
SECONDLY
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARENTS
USUALLY
COMPARE THEIR CHILD WITH OTHER PERSON DECREASES THE VALUE OF THEIR CHILD, AND SPENDING LESS TIME WITH THEIR BOY AND GIRL.
THEREFORE
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
OF THE YOUNG PUPILS
ARE INFLUENCED
BY THE ADVERTISEMENTS OF COSTLY MATERIALS SUCH AS CLOTHES, MOBILES,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
WATCHES
FOR WHICH
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TEENAGERS
FORCE THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARENTS
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
IT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
OF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARENTS
CAN NOT AFFORD IT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
WHICH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MAKES
THEIR CHILDREN FEEL LOW. TO OVERCOME THESE PROBLEMS, HERE ARE
If the text is a generality, 'OF THE' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
SOME OF THE
SUGGESTIONS WHICH MIGHT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
REDUCE
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRESSURE
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
FIRST OF ALL
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
SHOULD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MAKE
AN LAW TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
REDUCE
THE SYLLABUS AND NUMBER OF
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TESTS
WHICH WILL BRING DOWN THE ACADEMIC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRESSURE
.
SECONDLY
, MOTHER AND FATHER SHOULD SPEND AN ADEQUATE TIME WITH THEIR PUPILS AND TO NOT COMPARE THEM WITH OTHERS.
MOREOVER
, THE COUNTRY'S ADMINISTRATION SHOULD BAN THE HIGH-PRICED PROMOTIONS TO LESSEN THE COMMERCIAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRESSURE
.
TO CONCLUDE
, THE REASONS BEHIND THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STRESS
MAINLY
ARE THE BURDEN OF STUDY IN SCHOOLS DUE TO LARGE SYLLABUS AND REGULAR EXAMS AND HARASSMENT BY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARENT
TO THEIR CHILD WHICH LED THEIR CONFIDENCE DOWN AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MAKE
THEM FEEL PRESSURIZED AND, TREND OF EXPENSIVE THINGS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MAKE
YOUNGSTERS FEEL MORE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STRESSED
. THESE PROBLEMS COULD
BE SOLVED
BY ABOVE MENTIONED
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
MEASURES
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IELTS essay CHILDREN ARE FACING MORE PRESSURE NOWADAYS FROM ACADEMIC, SOCIALAND COMMERCIAL PRESPECTIVES WHAT ARE THE REASONS OF THESE PRESSURES AND SOLUTIONS TO SOLVE

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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