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Children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility.

Children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. oEb3V
Childhood obesity and illness are people of all ages ‘ rising issues issue especially children. It is said / believed that the government has to have take the full responsibility for this phenomenon, but /; however, I think both parents and schools should also take steps along with the government / authorities. To begin with, instead of the government, the most influential people for children are their parents. A house is a place where children spend much time / most of their time on it. Therefore, parents have an obligation to control their children in terms of such as daily diet, junk food intake and exercise and enjoin the children that they should avoid junk diet. Also, they must tell their children the consequences of obesity and sickness. , sickliness. Moreover, they can convince them to go on a diet or they are able to be their children's mentor helping them keep fit and stay in shape. On the other hand, schools and government also play a quite vital role in maintaining low level of obesity among the children. First, One of the main causes is lack of knowledge to be aware of causes of obesity overweight, so teachers need to teach them physical education regularly. What is more, teachers have to control and block body-shaming in school environments in order to prevent children from experiencing mental illness, depression and eating disorders besides reduce children’s stress level. In another aspect, there are some solutions the government should consider. The first solution/measure/implementation is that, the government may publish some newspapers, online news or books on the symptoms and effects of obesity. Second, the government would restrict with advertisements about food containing high level of sugar or junk food. This would help reduce children’s demand / desire for unhealthy/unwholesome products. If this issue come to serious the government even need to put a ban on them. To conclude, children's obesity obesity of children is worrying many parents. more and more considerable but in From my point of view, this problem can be controlled by the government, parents and schools’ intervention in children’s diet, exercise and awareness of health. Children also need to be aware of the importance of balanced diet, exercise and having beauty.
Childhood obesity and illness are
people
of all ages ‘ rising issues issue
especially
children
. It
is said
/ believed that the
government
has to
have
take
the full responsibility for this phenomenon,
but
/;
however
, I
think
both
parents
and
schools
should
also
take steps along with the
government
/ authorities.

To
begin
with,
instead
of the
government
, the most influential
people
for
children
are their
parents
. A
house
is a place where
children
spend much time / most of their time on it.
Therefore
,
parents
have an obligation to control their
children
in terms of such as daily diet, junk food intake and exercise and enjoin the
children
that they should avoid junk diet.
Also
, they
must
tell
their
children
the consequences of obesity and sickness.
,
sickliness
.
Moreover
, they can convince them to go on a
diet or
they are able to be their children's mentor helping them
keep
fit and stay in shape.

On the other hand
,
schools
and
government
also
play a quite vital role in maintaining low level of obesity among the
children
.
First
, One of the main causes is lack of knowledge to be aware of causes of obesity overweight,
so
teachers need to teach them physical education
regularly
.
What is more
, teachers
have to
control and block body-shaming in
school
environments in order to
prevent
children
from experiencing mental illness, depression and eating disorders
besides
reduce
children’s
stress
level. In another aspect, there are
some
solutions the
government
should consider. The
first
solution/measure/implementation is that, the
government
may publish
some
newspapers, online news or books on the symptoms and effects of obesity. Second, the
government
would restrict with advertisements about food containing high level of sugar or junk food. This would
help
reduce
children’s
demand / desire for unhealthy/unwholesome products.
If
this issue
come
to serious the
government
even need to put a ban on them.

To conclude
, children's
obesity obesity
of
children
is worrying
many
parents
.
more
and more considerable
but
in From my point of view, this problem can
be controlled
by the
government
,
parents
and
schools’
intervention in
children’s
diet, exercise and awareness of health.
Children
also
need to be aware of the importance of balanced diet, exercise and having beauty.
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IELTS essay Children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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