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Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the main causes and effects of this problem.

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the main causes and effects of this problem. 1baL7
Nowaday, childhood obesity is a serious problem in many countries. This rate is increasing day by day and there is a risk that people will not be able to control it. There are many causes for this and also bad effects in different ways. The main cause of this is the wrong diet. Children get too much energy through eating foods high in protein, sugar, and fat. Fast food, carbonated soft drinks and street food are among them. In particular, children often snack a lot in the evening before going to bed. For example, according to recent surveys of professors in the US, children in this country have the highest obesity rates in the Americas. Besides, they are attracted to electronic devices and TV programs that make them become sedentary. Excess energy in the body is not expended and is converted to fat causing obesity. As a result, there are diseases with a large increase in children, especially diabetes. This disease cannot be completely cured, but causes children to need insulin injections for the rest of their lives. In addition, they can also suffer from diseases such as high blood pressure or fatty liver. Not only that, obesity also affects the psychology of children. Children with obesity will become victims of negative jokes from friends, gradually leading to self-isolation, or depression. To summarize, it is clear that there are a range of causes for childhood obesity, as well as a variety of negative effects. Therefore, the government needs to take urgent measures to minimize this situation in the future.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowaday
, childhood obesity is a serious problem in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. This rate is increasing day by day and there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will not be able to control it. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
for this and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.

The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of this is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
too much energy through eating foods high in protein, sugar, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
food, carbonated soft drinks and street food are among them.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
snack a lot in the evening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to bed.
For example
, according to recent surveys of professors in the US,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in this country have the highest obesity rates in the Americas.
Besides
, they
are attracted
to electronic devices and TV programs that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them become sedentary. Excess energy in the body is not expended and
is converted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
causing obesity.

As a result
, there are diseases with a large increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
diabetes. This disease cannot be completely cured,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to need insulin injections for the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
In addition
, they can
also
suffer from diseases such as high blood pressure or fatty liver. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, obesity
also
affects the psychology of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
with obesity will become victims of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
jokes from friends,
gradually
leading to self-isolation, or depression.

To summarize
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
for childhood obesity,
as well
as a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to take urgent measures to minimize this situation in the future.
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IELTS essay Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the main causes and effects of this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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