Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years.

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. oR3Gw
A predominantly shared perception is that Nowadays children have been facing a serious health-related issue which is called obesity. In fact, obese people face a number of medical-related problems such as diabetes. This essay will discuss the causes of the aforementioned obstacle as well as solutions will be presented followed by a conclusion. As mentioned in the introduction that obesity affects young people in recent days, there are a plethora of reasons of this hardship and one of the reasons is fast food. More and more of teens become fat because restaurants like joint burgers could be found anywhere so it is accessible and affordable, therefore, numerous of diseases have been diagnosed in children these days for examples obese children are at the higher risk of having diabetes or pressure blood or even dying from certain illnesses. Moreover, another striking aspect is that lifestyles of boys and girls are not healthy so they be watching TV or playing video games and they do not do any form of exercises so being obese is explainable. Also, one thing worth mentioning is being obese could be a medical condition. To find proper solutions, analysis should be taken into consideration. Firstly, parents should take care of their sons and daughters consequently they need to observe them closely and children should not be allowed to eat fast or junk food consistently so they could grow up healthy. Secondly, governments should take actions to tackle this health crisis such as they must impose taxes on these joints or corporations so that they inform people that the food they sell is not nourishing. Finally, children should be encouraged to do a myriad of exercises so that they could be thin and fit. Given these points, childhood obesity has become a popular difficulty worldwide and the causes mentioned above, fast food is being everywhere and it can be bought at any time, another critical fact of the problem is not doing any form of exercise, some of them have a medical condition. Therefore, in order to tackle this issue many solutions should be implemented such as parents observation as well as governments take actions and young people be going to be raised to do many exercises.
A
predominantly
shared perception is that Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have been facing a serious health-related issue which
is called
obesity. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face a number of medical-related problems such as diabetes. This essay will discuss the causes of the aforementioned obstacle
as well
as solutions will
be presented
followed by a conclusion.

As mentioned in the introduction that obesity affects young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in recent days, there are a plethora of reasons of this hardship and one of the reasons is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. More and more of teens become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
restaurants like joint burgers could
be found
anywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is accessible and affordable,
therefore
, numerous of diseases have
been diagnosed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
these days for examples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are at the higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of having diabetes or pressure blood or even dying from certain illnesses.
Moreover
, another striking aspect is that lifestyles of boys and girls are not healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they be watching TV or playing video
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
games and
they do not do any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
is explainable.
Also
, one thing worth mentioning is being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
could be a medical condition.

To find proper solutions, analysis should
be taken
into consideration.
Firstly
, parents should take care of their sons and daughters
consequently
they need to observe them
closely
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
or junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consistently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they could grow up healthy.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take actions to tackle this health crisis such as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
impose taxes on these joints or corporations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
they sell is not nourishing.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be encouraged
to do a myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could be thin and fit.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
these points, childhood obesity has become a popular difficulty worldwide and the causes mentioned above,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is being everywhere and it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
at any time, another critical fact of the problem is not doing any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them have a medical condition.
Therefore
, in order to tackle this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions should
be implemented
such as parents observation
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
take actions and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
be going to
be raised
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Nowadays people always throw old things away. What causes this problem? What effects does this lead to?
    In today's world, humans are getting rid of old items vary quickly although they are reusable if they are repaired. One of the foremost causes of this issue is to advance new thechnologies. It leads to plethora of effects, for example it brings about running out of resoursec. To my prespective, it ...
  • 6band
    in many countries the proportion of older people steadily increasing is it positive or negative
    In many parts of the world older generation is increasing day by day. For some this situation has many advantages. But I believe that it has more negative aspects. In this essay I will explain my arguments. To begin with, if in society there are many seniors thinking way of people may not be develop...
  • 6band
    helpful staff at theater
    I would really like to appreciate the well-being behavior of your staff whilst to the accident I met yesterday at the theater. I was a little late during the show, though I was running on the passage, while running my left leg was stuck on the stair just behind the hall gate. It stuck so terribly on...
  • 6band
    asking friend for developing a website for me
    How are you? I hope you and John are doing well. I can’t believe it’s been 2 years since our last vacation together! I have been really busy with the new shop and thanks to word of mouth, sales are going great! In fact, I have even decided to have a website created for the store. Would you be inter...
  • 6band
    companies are responsible only for making money for their investor
    Businesses have always aimed to make profit for their investors. Therefore, to society as whole they should. not be held w for the environmental and social costs of their business. I completely disagree with this idea that business should not do for environment and society anything. On the one hand...
  • 6band
    Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to school. What are reasons? Provide some solution.
    Unfortunately, children get distracted during school studies. It is becoming an increasingly significant problem in many schools, societies and, countries. Although distraction endangered many children’s future, their effects can also be combated successfully. This essay looks at some reasons for th...