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Childcare is an important task for every nation. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Childcare is an important task for every nation. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. 0GPQ
Recently, whether all mothers and fathers should be imparted the knowledge of childcare by having lessons triggers an intense discussion. I believe that although parenting training courses provide systemic ways about childcare, they should not be mandatory for every parents regarding necessity and feasibility. Admittedly, parents should take the childcare training courses because of its profession. This kind of institution can provide a wide collection of lessons and activities from physical childcare to psychological development. Trainees, who are experts and well equip with experience and knowledge of taking care of babies, might help parents to solve many avoidable mistakes including feeding babies with milk at inappropriate temperature and scolding their children directly when they misbehave. However, the aforementioned reason fails to make parenting courses compulsory to all parents. In term of necessity, taking the course should not become a “must” for all parent. Even the course can generalize some basic tips for young parents, most of the tips might be the common senses. In other words, the problems parents encounter are usually small and can be corrected easily, so they can nurture this skill quickly in absence of any early training. Also, instead of taking the theoretical courses, it is more practical for parent to search information from countless online resources including blogs and forums sharing different cases of childcare. Furthermore, it is impossible to force all parents to take this course. Firstly, not all the parents have a strong financial position to afford the course. Especially in china, childcare courses are usually expensive and designed for groups with high income. More importantly, in a fiercely competitive workplace, many working parents have to work from the early morning to the evening and even in weekends in order to keep their job. Thus, squeezing out the time for attending the unaffordable lessons would be unrealistic dream for most people. In conclusion, it would be unnecessary and unfeasible for all parents to take the childcare training course despite its profession.
Recently, whether all mothers and fathers should
be imparted
the knowledge of childcare by having lessons triggers an intense discussion. I believe that although parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
provide systemic ways about childcare, they should not be mandatory for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "parent"?
parents
regarding necessity and feasibility.

Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take the childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its profession. This kind of institution can provide a wide collection of lessons and activities from physical childcare to psychological development. Trainees, who are experts and well equip with experience and knowledge of taking care of babies, might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
avoidable mistakes including feeding babies with milk at inappropriate temperature and scolding their children
directly
when they misbehave.
However
, the aforementioned reason fails to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
compulsory to all parents.

In term of necessity, taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
should not become a “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
” for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
. Even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
can generalize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic tips for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, most of the tips might be the common senses.
In other words
, the problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
encounter are
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and can
be corrected
easily
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can nurture this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
quickly
in absence of any early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
.
Also
,
instead
of taking the theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, it is more practical for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to search information from countless online resources including blogs and forums sharing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cases of childcare.

Furthermore
, it is impossible to force all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to take this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
Firstly
, not all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a strong financial position to afford the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
Especially
in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
, childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are
usually
expensive and designed for groups with high income. More
importantly
, in a
fiercely
competitive workplace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work from the early morning to the evening and even in weekends in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their job.
Thus
, squeezing out the time for attending the unaffordable lessons would be unrealistic dream for most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, it would be unnecessary and unfeasible for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to take the childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
despite its profession.
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IELTS essay Childcare is an important task for every nation. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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