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Childcare center vs family members

Childcare center vs family members jboNL
When the children reach the age of three to five, parents often wonder whether or not to send them to kindergarten. While there are benefits to choosing childcare provider which can give parents qualified help in children’s upbringing, there are also goods reasons why it might be beneficial to raising the kids at home by grandparents. This essay will give insights into both arguments and provide my perspective. On the one hand, the option to enrolling children in a preschool program is attractive for several reasons. First, kindergarten is a perfect environment for kids before entering primary school. Children can develop themselves such as soft skills, moral behavior, social competence through lessons or friends. In childcare center, caretakers will identify characteristics and meet children’s individual needs, therefore, they can figure out the kids’ disadvantage and establish of sufficient preparation for school. Moreover, most of parents sending kids to nurseries with expect them can educate their child not simply keep an eye on children. Many parents spend huge money for private kindergarten to have best education, for example is learning English when the child is still young. On the other hand, staying with grandparent can be beneficial for the kids when they become mature. Grandparent truly impact their grandchildren’ lives. Research illustrates that 9 out of 10 adult grandchildren have influence from their grandparents. Grandparents are a valuable resource because of they have a lot of life stories and experience to share, and it will be a spiritual support during kid’s mature time. Furthermore, grandparent offer an affordable childcare option. With both parents working outside from home, it is clearly that grandparent play an important role in raising today’s youth. Having grandparent as babysitter help parent not only save money but also leave their child in caring hand. In conclusion, it seems evident that both childcare center and home care are advantageous in their own ways.
When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
reach the age of three to five,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
wonder
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to kindergarten. While there are benefits to choosing childcare provider which can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
qualified
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
upbringing, there are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
reasons why it might be beneficial to raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at home by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
. This essay will give insights into both arguments and provide my perspective.

On the one hand, the option to enrolling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a preschool program is attractive for several reasons.
First
, kindergarten is a perfect environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering primary school.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can develop themselves such as soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, moral behavior, social competence through lessons or friends. In childcare center, caretakers will identify characteristics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
individual needs,
therefore
, they can figure out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids’
disadvantage and establish of sufficient preparation for school.
Moreover
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to nurseries with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
them can educate their child not
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spend huge money for private kindergarten to
A determiner is probably missing here: "have the best".
have best
education,
for example
is learning English when the child is
still
young.

On the other hand
, staying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparent
can be beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
when they become mature.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Grandparent
truly
impact their grandchildren’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Research illustrates that 9 out of 10 adult grandchildren have influence from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Grandparents
are a valuable resource
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
life stories and experience to share, and it will be a spiritual support during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid’s
mature time.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparent
offer an affordable childcare option. With both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
working outside from home, it is
clearly
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparent
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in raising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s youth. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparent
as babysitter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
save money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their child in caring hand.

In conclusion
, it seems evident that both childcare center and home care are advantageous in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways.
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IELTS essay Childcare center vs family members

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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