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Child labour shoul be keep or avoid

Child labour shoul be keep or avoid Kw1jR
Children labours has been a hot topic for more than a decade which intensifely discuss in many country. As people that have experience in such case, I am support child labour in some extent as I will mentions below. Rather than we focuse this is right of not, we should try to figure out why child labour still exist till to day. In wealth country with high take home pay or the goverment that subsidise poor citizen, involving children in some paid work is not relefant, however in developing countries when both parrent income can't support family expends its become an alternatif. For example, tweenty years ago when I still in elementry scholl my mom and dad did't have enought money to support the study of two children. Consequently, my mom told me to sell meat aroud the village everyday after schooll. By doing this, I have been support not only my study but also the education of my elder brother. Moreover, the experience I got at that time made me become independent and responsible which is importent for my carrier recently. In spite of the benefit provided as children labour, some act or regulation must be declare in orther to avoid exploitation. Some of them including firstly the duration of work that might no longer than 10 hour a weeks, secondly the tipe of job should over according to the ages and thirdly avoid the stress environtment at working space. As conclusion, children labour will get valuable experience with important for their carrier in the future, but some regulation should be made to avoid children exploitation.
Children labours
has been a hot topic for more than a decade which
intensifely
discuss in
many
country. As
people
that have experience in such case, I am
support
child
labour
in
some
extent as I will
mentions
below.

Rather
than we
focuse
this is right of not, we should try to figure out why child
labour
still
exist till to day. In wealth country with high take home pay or the
goverment
that
subsidise
poor citizen, involving
children
in
some
paid work is not
relefant
,
however
in
developing countries
when both
parrent
income can't
support
family expends its become an
alternatif
.
For example
,
tweenty
years ago when I
still
in
elementry
scholl
my mom and dad
did't
have
enought
money to
support
the study of two
children
.
Consequently
, my mom
told
me to sell meat
aroud
the village
everyday
after
schooll
. By doing this, I have been
support
not
only
my study
but
also
the education of my elder brother.
Moreover
, the experience I
got
at that time made me become independent and responsible which is
importent
for my carrier recently.

In spite of
the benefit provided as
children
labour
,
some
act or regulation
must
be
declare
in
orther
to avoid exploitation.
Some
of them including
firstly
the duration of work that might no longer than 10 hour
a weeks
,
secondly
the
tipe
of job should over according to the ages and
thirdly
avoid the
stress
environtment
at working space.

As conclusion,
children
labour
will
get
valuable experience with
important
for their carrier in the future,
but
some
regulation should
be made
to avoid
children
exploitation.
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IELTS essay Child labour shoul be keep or avoid

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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