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About advertising discussions

About advertising discussions pRVdd
I think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Because I do not want to spend time on choosing commodities. I think that there are two types of people around the world. One type is person who want to spend time on thinking. They do not care to time. Also, they like to shopping. Second type is person who do not want to spend time on thinking. They care to time and efficiency. Also, they do not like shopping and like doing something that is not shopping. I am second type. I like reading, drawing, and listening to music. I want to do many thing. But I have to do in a limited time. So I can not take time on choosing. I want to advertising that I know once. It is annoying to see many times. For example TV commercial message and flyer. If it is interesting, I do not feel annoying. But this pattern is rare. Also I think advertising should be that we no longer attention to it. Because it is best of benefit. One type of people do not like to take time on it too. Every one want to some that it is easy to understand for everyone. If you want to eat pizza, you will open browser and enter pizza. You will not check the advertising. If pizza advertising is seen morning, anyone ask the pizza. So advertising should be seen suitable time. Also we can not record the advertising that we watched in the morning. I can not do it at least. I think that it is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common that we no longer pay attention to it.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
I do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on choosing commodities.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that there are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
is person who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on thinking. They do not care to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Also
, they like to shopping. Second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
is person who do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on thinking. They care to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and efficiency.
Also
, they do not like shopping and like doing something
that is
not shopping.

I am second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
. I like reading, drawing, and listening to music.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: "many things".
many thing
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do in a limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I can not take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on choosing. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
Did you mean "advertise"?
advertising
that I know once.

It is annoying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
For example
TV commercial message and flyer. If it is interesting, I do not feel annoying.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this pattern is rare.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
advertising should be that we no longer attention to it.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
it is best of benefit. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not like to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on it too. Every one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that it is easy to understand for everyone.

If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to eat pizza, you will open browser and enter pizza. You will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the advertising. If pizza advertising is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
morning, anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "asks", "asked".
ask
the pizza.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
advertising should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
we can not record the advertising that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
in the morning. I can not do it at least.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common that we no longer pay attention to it.
What do you think?
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IELTS essay About advertising discussions

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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