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Changes affect to people's lives

Changes affect to people's lives pJ5NL
Since the world is changing everyday, it is necessary for us to create some differences and improve ourselves as well. However, making a difference from usual life can be a problem to many people. In the following essay, I will discuss this issue and the solutions to it. The main reason for resisting making changes is the fear of failure. Even a small change can affect our life, and may lead us to a different path from our original plan. For instance, taking risks in business sometimes leads to bankruptcy. However, without making adjustments, there wouldn’t be success as well. As Maxwell Maltz said: “The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore”. In other words, sticking with the same path might prevent us from developing further in life. Starting with a simple example about studying, study methods that we are taught sometimes do not help us with improving our weaknesses and developing our strengths. Therefore, it is essential for us to fix our ways of learning in order to improve ourselves. Another problem created by refusing to make changes is that it will limit people’s chances to achieve their dreams. As they do not make any adaptations, the results will be the same as well, which means it is harder to succeed. In order to tackle this issue, it is necessary for everyone to acknowledge the importance of changes in our life. For instance, reading books and stories about it may inspire us to change, starting from small ones such as our ways to learn or how we solve problems in daily life. Also, we should encourage people around us to make adjustments in their life as well. As we give people motivation to change themselves, we can also be inspired to make differences. In conclusion, by refusing changes, people also minimize their chances to improve themselves and achieve goals in their life. To solve this problem, everyone should start making changes, begin with small ones and then continue with bigger changes. Taking a risk can lead to failure, but that can be an opportunity to achieve new values.
Since the world is changing
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, it is necessary for us to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
ourselves
as well
.
However
, making a difference from usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the following essay, I will discuss this issue and the solutions to it.

The main reason for resisting making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
is the fear of failure. Even a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
can affect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and may lead us to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
path from our original plan.
For instance
, taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
in business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
leads to bankruptcy.
However
, without making adjustments, there wouldn’t be success
as well
.

As Maxwell
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maltz
said: “The sure-thing boat never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
far from shore”.
In other words
, sticking with the same path might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
us from developing
further
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Starting with a simple example about studying, study methods that we
are taught
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us with improving our weaknesses and developing our strengths.
Therefore
, it is essential for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
our ways of learning in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
ourselves. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
created by refusing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
is that it will limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
chances to achieve their dreams. As they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
any adaptations, the results will be the same
as well
, which means it is harder to succeed.

In order to tackle this issue, it is necessary for everyone to acknowledge the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, reading books and stories about it may inspire us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, starting from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
ones such as our ways to learn or how we solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Also
, we should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
adjustments in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as well
. As we give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
themselves, we can
also
be inspired
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
differences.

In conclusion
, by refusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
minimize their chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves and achieve goals in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
ones and then continue with bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
. Taking a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
can lead to failure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that can be an opportunity to achieve new values.
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IELTS essay Changes affect to people's lives

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
349 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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