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Change is more beneficial than have everything remain the same. What do you think about this? Does the benefits of change overweigh the drawbacks?

Change is more beneficial than have everything remain the same. What do you think about this? Does the benefits of change overweigh the drawbacks? Ep56q
Changing in every aspect is more beneficial than everything remaining the same. Some people agree with this statement while others disagree. I completely believe that the beneficial effects of change are greater than the disadvantages. The advantage of changing in every individual is that changed persons can learn new things. As an example, if they are active in participating in some courses like first aid courses, they can gain knowledge about first aid. By learning new things, they will become a better person. Besides, changed persons can change their bad habits, behaviours and attitude. For instance, less confident persons can increase their confidence by working hard and changing their negative thinking. Apart from this, the advantage of change in the world is that with the evolution of science and technology, the quality of people's lives is getting better and better. For example, modern technology has increased job opportunities and made the country more advanced and better. Therefore, people can get rid of poverty and live better. On the other hand, the change also has disadvantages. The disadvantages for each individual is that during the changing process, it will be uncomfortable and hard to adapt to the new situation. As an example, it is very hard to change bad habits in a short time. Thus, changed persons need to be patient, perseverance and persistence during the changing process. In addition, the change in the world brings the disadvantage which is the identity or personality of a country may be destroyed. During the changing world, the country might have some new buildings and the old buildings may be renovated or torn down. If some special and identitial old buildings are renovated or torn down, the identity of a country will not stay longer. On the whole, In my opinion, the benefits of change clearly outweigh the drawbacks, although the changes bring disadvantages like discomfort to people.
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Changing
in every aspect is more beneficial than everything remaining the same.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement while others disagree. I completely believe that the beneficial effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
are greater than the disadvantages.

The advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
in every individual is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things. As an example, if they are active
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in participating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses like
first
aid courses, they can gain knowledge about
first
aid. By learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things, they will become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and attitude.
For instance
, less confident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
can increase their confidence by working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thinking.

Apart from this, the advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the world is that with the evolution of science and technology, the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
For example
, modern technology has increased job opportunities and made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
more advanced and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of poverty and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
also
has disadvantages. The disadvantages for each individual is that during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
process, it will be uncomfortable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to adapt to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
situation. As an example, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits in a short time.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
need to be patient, perseverance and persistence during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
process.

In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the world brings the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
which is the identity or personality of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
buildings and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings may
be renovated
or torn down. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special and
Possible spelling mistake found.
identitial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings
are renovated
or torn down, the identity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will not stay longer.

On the whole
, In my opinion, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
clearly
outweigh the drawbacks, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
bring disadvantages like discomfort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay Change is more beneficial than have everything remain the same. What do you think about this? Does the benefits of change overweigh the drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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