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Certain parents believe that good parenting means constantly being involved in the lives of their children. While some parents believe it is better for the development of their children if they learn to deal with situations by themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some parents believe that engaging with children in whatever they do is a kind of perfect parenting and there are others, who believe that providing freedom to children in settling their own things helps them to grow. In my opinion, a combination of involving with children and providing freedom at times makes them develop faster. On the one hand, parents’ involvement is important for children, as their glance make them not to deviate from the track. To elaborate, when guardians are watching pupil, they will act with utmost care irrespective of what they are doing. In addition, children feel themselves as secured when parents are engaging in their core activities. Their involvement brings confidence and children behave fearless which is essential to reach greater heights in life. For instance, in childhood, when pupil are making science projects, they need someone’s involvement to finish it and once if they are aware of the thing that their parents are with them, there are higher chances that they can innovate better. On the other hand, there are some parents who believes, giving independence to children yields long term benefits as children will come to a phase where they need to take important decisions. Allowing children to deal with situations promotes maturity and also makes themselves better decision makers. Children who grew on their own definitely stand out of the rest, no matter what the field is. Moreover, the best learning of the children is one, which they learn from their own mistakes. When they face failure by performing on their own, they will not forget throughout their lives as compared to the learning which they inherit from their parents' knowledge. To conclude, parents need to give freedom to children in some aspects of their life but at the same time they need to support their children in every possible way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe that engaging with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in whatever they do is a kind of perfect parenting and there are others, who believe that providing freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in settling their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to grow. In my opinion, a combination of involving with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and providing freedom at times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them develop faster.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
involvement is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, as their glance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them not to deviate from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
. To elaborate, when guardians are watching pupil, they will act with utmost care irrespective of what they are doing.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel themselves as secured when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are engaging in their core activities. Their involvement brings confidence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
behave fearless which is essential to reach greater heights in life.
For instance
, in childhood, when pupil are making science projects, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
someone’s involvement to finish it and once if they are aware of the thing that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are with them, there are higher chances that they can innovate better.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who
Did you mean "believe"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'parents' should be used.
believes
, giving independence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
yields long term benefits as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a phase where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions. Allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to deal with situations promotes maturity and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
themselves better decision makers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who grew on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
definitely stand out of the rest, no matter what the field is.
Moreover
, the best learning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is one, which they learn from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mistakes. When they face failure by performing on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, they will not forget throughout their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as compared to the learning which they inherit from their parents' knowledge.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to give freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in every possible way.
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IELTS essay Certain parents believe that good parenting means constantly being involved in the lives of their children. While some parents believe it is better for the development of their children if they learn to deal with situations by themselves.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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