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Celebrities such as actors and sports personalities earn a lot more than other professionals. Some people believe that this is unfair while others think that celebrities deserve to be paid more. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion on the subject.

Celebrities such as actors and sports personalities earn a lot more than other professionals. Some people believe that this is unfair while others think that celebrities deserve to be paid more. LrlL6
Celebrities are earned a lot because they are constantly worked hard in the day to day life than in other professions. actors and sportspersons have not privacy in life and lots of many things are sacrificed. celebrities have no time hour fixed for working compared to other professions. Nowadays social media are constantly followed them and those have no personal space compared to the normal citizen. some of these things are made tortures for them. On another side, some people believe that celebrities are earned more is unfaired with the other professional people. professional workers are working hard but the payment is lower than celebrities. on the background of celebrities, many professionals are working for them to succeed in work. sometimes they working but the payments are not received from time to time and many consequences are affecting. so many risks are bringing in day-to-day life like not fix a job any time they are fired. to be given example in film making behind the film so many professional are working to make film successfully. then a film is a popular than all credits are going to actors. to conclude that after discussing both the view my opinion is celebrities are deserved to earn a lot of money than professional because celebrities are sacrifices more things compare to other professionals. they are losing personal space and privacy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
are earned
a lot
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because
they are
constantly
worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in the
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professions.
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actors
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportspersons
have not privacy in life and lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
are sacrificed
.
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celebrities
have no
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time
hour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professions. Nowadays social media are
constantly
followed them and those have no personal space compared to the normal citizen.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
of these things
are made
tortures for them.

On another side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are earned
more is
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfaired
with the
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
professional
workers are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
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but
the payment is lower than
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celebrities
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the background of
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celebrities
,
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for them to succeed in work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sometimes
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the payments are not received from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences are affecting.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
are bringing in day-to-day life like not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
a job any
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time
they
are fired
.
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to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
example in film making behind the film
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
film
successfully
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
a film is a popular than all credits are going to actors.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude that after discussing both the view my opinion is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are deserved
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are sacrifices more things compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
are losing personal space and privacy.
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IELTS essay Celebrities such as actors and sports personalities earn a lot more than other professionals. Some people believe that this is unfair while others think that celebrities deserve to be paid more.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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