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What would you preffer?A job which is highly rewarded with monetry gains or a job that focus more on social services.give your opinion with reasons and example

What would you preffer? A job which is highly rewarded with monetry gains or a job that focus more on social services. give your opinion with reasons and example 0a509
Nowdays everyone preffer a job which would be a give more money and statisfaction rather than the social services. In my point of view we always do that work which is highly rewarded with monetry gains. There are a plethora of reasons why individuals are choose work which is give highly rewarded with monetry gains. Firstly, if people would do job then they can save money for families and they can also help to nation. peoples' would more succefull if they can own work rather then social services, also they will be solve their future consistency with the help of save money. for instance, people would be open NGO and other social services, then they help poor people. Secondly, any nature desasder will come in their country then they can help to the nation. beside peoples' are more satisfation with their work. However, social services are important for the country, people also help the nation with their work. as well as economy will be also rise on the peak point. In conclude, although social services are important for peoples' yet, jobs are also indeed for people to save money for families and nations
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
everyone
Possible spelling mistake found.
preffer
a job which would be a give more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
statisfaction
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. In my point of view we always do that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which is
highly
rewarded with
Possible spelling mistake found.
monetry
gains.

There are a plethora of reasons why individuals are
Consider using a past participle here: "chosen".
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which is give
highly
rewarded with
Possible spelling mistake found.
monetry
gains.
Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would do job then they can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
families and
they can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
peoples
' would more
Possible spelling mistake found.
succefull
if they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
,
also
they will be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
their future consistency with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be open NGO and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, then they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, any nature
Possible spelling mistake found.
desasder
will
The words "come in" and "come to" have different meanings. "Come in their office" means "have an orgasm in their office." "Come to" or "Come into" means "enter." Did you mean "come to" or "come into"?
come in
their country then they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
beside
peoples' are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
satisfation
with their work.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the country,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
well as economy will be
also
Consider using a past participle here: "risen".
rise
on the peak point.

In conclude, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for peoples'
yet
, jobs are
also
indeed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for families and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
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IELTS essay What would you preffer? A job which is highly rewarded with monetry gains or a job that focus more on social services. give your opinion with reasons and example

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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