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Can money lad to happiness.To what extent do you agree

Can money lad to happiness. To what extent do you agree VlqW3
Money is an item that is generally accepted as payment of goods and services and also for the transaction of payments such as debts and taxes. Happiness is that can be characterized by joy or satisfaction also helps one to do their best. Money up lifts ones spirit just at the mention of it. in my opinion I think money makes human lives better. but then there are possibilities where there can be sources of happiness with little money. Some of the contributing factors are; Travelling opportunities can be achieved as one can travel to any country of choice for pleasure. This brings some form of fulfilment and happiness because it was achieved by money. Businesses can be successful by investing in business deals with money as thhis bring joy and hapinness. Luxurious lifestyle can be lived by having money that can buy anything they want to buy and this makes them feel happy and fulfilled because they can afford anything they want. Happiness is when you have acquired Education, knowledge and skills to better your life and this can be achieved by having money which can lead to dream achievement. Politically, government can build more infrastructure in a country and expand businesses as this can attract foreign investors to invest to open more jobs for the unemployed which will create happiness for the government, the investors and the unemployed as this will create a source. of income. However, there are other sources of happiness where little is needed to make you happy. Like the old age who to them money is not a neccesity but the feel of love from members of the family and and keeping them company as well. Been passionate about what you love to do by volunteering in your specific field can make you happy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is an item
that is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
as payment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services and
also
for the transaction of payments such as debts and taxes.

Happiness is that can
be characterized
by joy or satisfaction
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
one to do their best.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
up lifts ones spirit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
at the mention of it. in my opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
then there are possibilities where there can be sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
contributing factors are;

Travelling opportunities can
be achieved
as one can travel to any country of choice for pleasure. This brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
form of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
was achieved
by money.

Businesses can be successful by investing in business deals with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
thhis
bring joy and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hapinness
.

Luxurious lifestyle can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
by having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them feel happy and fulfilled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can afford anything they want.

Happiness is when you have acquired Education, knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to better your life and this can
be achieved
by having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which can lead to dream achievement.

Politically
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can build more infrastructure in a country and expand businesses as this can attract foreign investors to invest to open more jobs for the unemployed which will create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, the investors and the unemployed as this will create a source.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
income.

However
, there are other sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
is needed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you happy.

Like the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age who to them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not a
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccesity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the feel of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from members of the family
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
keeping them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as well
.

Been passionate about what you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to do by volunteering in your specific field can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you happy.
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IELTS essay Can money lad to happiness. To what extent do you agree

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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