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Can money buy happiness? what do you think about it

Can money buy happiness? what do you think about it 7JROy
Every people have different answers. Some people think that money is the source of happiness. With money, one can buy whatever he enjoys. With money, one can do whatever he likes. So in their minds, money can bring comfort, security, and so on. Money, as they think, is the source of happiness. But there are still a lot of others who think that money is the root of all evil. Money drives people to steal, to rob, and to break the law. A lot of people became criminals just because they were in search of money. And in the Western countries, there is nothing that can’t be bought by money. Many people lose their own lives because of this. I don't think that money can bring you happiness. But even though money is necessary to life, it can’t buy happiness. Happiness is not something that can be measured by money. It is a state of mind. One can have plenty of money, with which he can buy whatever he wants, and at the same time he is not happy because he is never satisfied or he is troubled by different kinds of problems. Therefore, although money is necessary for a happy life, it can’t buy happiness. Money plays all important roles in our everyday life. It has been a favorite topic for discussion among ails kinds of people, young and old, men and women. With the adoption of the market economy and the development of society, more and more people are paying their attention to the function of money. Some say that money is the source of happiness while others hold a negative attitude and regard money as the root of all evils. In my opinion, money can both benefit people and do harm to them. First, we can‘t deny that money is useful. We need money to buy our daily necessities such as food, houses and clothing, etc. Generally speaking, more money can make us live more comfortably. Secondly, if we have more money, we can take part in more social activities. We can travel widely and have more experience. We can receive higher education, increase our knowledge and develop our skills. In addition, we will have more ways to help others. All those can help us live an interesting and meaningful life. However, money can also do harm to us, especially when we have large amounts of it. If a person places money prior to anything else, he will tend to lose the pleasure of his life. Since everything means nothing to him except caring for more money, he will lose friends, or even the care and warmth from his family. If this happens, money only brings to him loneliness. Being a member of the human being, you have lots of peruses, such as love, friendship, understanding, cooperation and so on. Except money, you will have many other things to obtain and to enjoy in your life. It seems that "Money talks" is not always available. You can find that you cannot buy knowledge and ability with your money. And money cannot help you solve the problem of comfort and friendship. Some people have a lot of money, but they have the same problems like us common people. Anyway, if you want to be an independent, generous and open-minded people, you shouldn't always count on money. Remember, money is not the only thing in your life.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
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people
have
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different
answers.
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Some
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people
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think
that
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money
is the source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. With
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money
, one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
whatever he enjoys. With
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money
, one can do whatever he likes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in their minds,
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money
can bring comfort, security, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
, as they
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think
, is the source of happiness.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
still
a
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lot
of others who
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think
that
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money
is the root of all evil.
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Money
drives
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people
to steal, to rob, and to break the law. A
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lot
of
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people
became criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
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because
they were in search of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. And in the Western countries, there is nothing that
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can’t
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by
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money
.
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Many
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people
lose their
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own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
because of this
.

I don't
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think
that
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money
can bring you
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happiness
.
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But
even though
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money
is necessary to
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life
, it
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can’t
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buy
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happiness
.
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Happiness
is not something that can
be measured
by
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money
. It is a state of mind. One can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, with which he can
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buy
whatever he wants, and at the same time he is not happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is never
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
satisfied or
he
is troubled
by
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different
kinds of problems.
Therefore
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is necessary for a happy
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life
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can’t
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buy
happiness.

Money plays all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles in our everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It has been a favorite topic for discussion among ails kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, young and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women. With the adoption of the market economy and the development of society, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are paying their attention to the function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
while others hold a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude and regard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as the root of all evils.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can both benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and do harm to them.
First
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can‘t
deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is useful. We need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
our daily necessities such as food,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and clothing, etc.
Generally
speaking, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more
comfortably
.
Secondly
, if we have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in more social activities. We can travel
widely
and have more experience. We can receive higher education, increase our knowledge and develop our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
In addition
, we will have more ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others. All
Did you mean "this can" or "those cans"?
those can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an interesting and meaningful life.

However
,
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money
can
also
do harm to us,
especially
when we have large amounts of it. If a person places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
prior to anything else, he will tend to lose the pleasure of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Since everything means nothing to him except caring for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, he will lose friends, or even the care and warmth from his family. If this happens,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
brings to him loneliness.

Being a member of the human being, you have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of peruses, such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, friendship, understanding, cooperation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, you will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things to obtain and to enjoy in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It seems that
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Money talks
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is not always available. You can find that you cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
knowledge and ability with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you solve the problem of comfort and friendship.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have the same problems
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
like
us common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Anyway, if you want to be an independent, generous and open-minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, you shouldn't always count on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Remember,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Can money buy happiness? what do you think about it

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
568 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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