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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

It is true that usage of internet has been growing from the last several year. Buying things such as groceries and educational mateiral from the online shopping gives plethora of advantage as well as disadvantage. However, i believe that prons outweigh the cons. To begin with, purchsing from the internet helps us in many ways. Firstly, Nowadays people are busy in their hectic life and by shopping from the online platform, people can save the time by just ordering it. Secondly, it also help us to choose single product from the multiple options without going from one shop to another shop. For example, when we want to buy a smart phone, we just have to find it on website such as amazon and they will gives us a lot of different mobiles. In addition, people can also get the more conveniece price as compare to the local shops because seller from the online shopping gives some kinds of discount to promote their product and websites. The amazon, for example, gives many offer during the year for get more publicity. However, there are some problems with the online shoppings. Sometimes people have to compromise with the quality of product. What's more, they have to prevent from the cheating. But this problems can be eliminated by simple steps like prevention, reading the actual discription and comments. In conclusion, there are a number of disadvatage of getting thing from the internet, however it can be minimize by some measure. So, advantages are far more than disadvantages.
It is true that usage of internet has been growing from the last
Possible agreement error. The noun year seems to be countable; consider using: “several years”.
several year
. Buying things such as groceries and educational
Possible spelling mistake found.
mateiral
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
plethora of advantage
as well
as disadvantage.
However
,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
prons
outweigh the cons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake found.
purchsing
from the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Firstly
, Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy in their hectic life and by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platform,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save the time by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
ordering it.
Secondly
, it
also
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “helps”.
help
us to choose single product from the multiple options without going from one shop to another shop.
For example
, when we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
smart phone
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find it on website such as
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
amazon and
they will
The modal verb ‘will’ requires the verb’s base form.
gives
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mobiles.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the more
Possible spelling mistake found.
conveniece
price as compare to the local shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
seller from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of discount to promote their product and websites. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
Possible agreement error. The noun offer seems to be countable; consider using: “many offers”.
many offer
during the year for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more publicity.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoppings
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compromise with the quality of product. What's more, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from the cheating.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘problems’. Did you mean “these”?
this
problems can
be eliminated
by simple steps like prevention, reading the actual
Possible spelling mistake found.
discription
and comments.

In conclusion
, there are a number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadvatage
of getting thing from the internet,
however
it can be
Consider using the past participle “minimized”.
minimize
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, advantages are far more than disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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