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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

It is indeed a fact that with the advent of technology, online shopping become more and more popular. Nowadays, people buy study materials, ticket reservation and domestic materials from the Internet. I opine that it has more advantages than cons. To begin with, online shopping has immense benefits to the customers such as save a lot of time and travelling cost. Folks can purchase things by sitting at home and they do not have to travel to buy products. For instance, one can purchase books by just sitting at home by using their phone. Apart from this, the online websites offer a wide variety of books of different authors and available in different languages. consequently, online shopping become a trend in this cutting-edge era. In contrast, it has many demerits. The main challenge face by the online users is the payment failure. For instance, when a user pay for the ticket or any other product payments get deducted from the user’s account but do not reach to the companies account which cause problems confront by the customers. Moreover, sometimes the quality of product not as good as they offer. In conclusion, online purchase has both merits and demerits but it’s advantages overweigh its disadvantages. However, I tend to believe that the online shopping is more convenient nowadays.
It is
indeed
a fact that with the advent of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
become more and more popular. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
study materials, ticket reservation and domestic materials from the Internet. I opine that it has more advantages than cons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has immense benefits to the customers such as save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and travelling cost. Folks can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things by sitting at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
home and
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products.
For instance
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
books by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting at home by using their phone. Apart from this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
websites offer a wide variety of books of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
authors and available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
languages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
become a trend in this cutting-edge era.
In contrast
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
demerits. The main challenge face by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
users is the payment failure.
For instance
, when a user pay for the ticket or any other product payments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
deducted from the user’s account
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not reach to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
account which cause problems confront by the customers.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the quality of product not as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as they offer.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
has both merits and demerits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’s advantages
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
its disadvantages.
However
, I tend to believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is more convenient nowadays.
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IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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