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Bullying increased in all schools

Bullying increased in all schools 7JxQ5
One of the main problems in schools where students are getting bullied. This essay will discuss two main causes such as bulliers are pretending themselves as stronger and being vulnerable in nature and this essay will suggest two main solutions like giving punishments and educating students to behave discipline. The cause of this problem are so basic that is bullying can be a key where bulliers can show their strength and by pretending themselves as stronger so they are in the position of hurting students who are weaker than them. secondly most of the bulliers have high political background or even wealthier background. bullying may lead to mental stress, anxiety and increasing of child crimes in the society. for instance, in India most of the bulliers are from political background and nearly 50 % of them from wealthiest background so normal people cannot complaint against them. Moving on to the solutions, solutions are not easy but if school institutions introduced some strict rules for students then it can be possible to solve. the main thing for school authorities is to regulate strict punishment and rules such as montering students or bags to check whether they have any dangerous thing or not and punishments like suspension, not allowing to write exams if they caught up for bullying which will significantly stop Villiers from bullying. lastly having good approach and friendly training is important with students and educating disciplines will really help. In conclusion many students bullied at their schools this can be because of political sources behind them according to solutions there should be peer teaching, strict punishments to all students without inequity.
One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
where
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students
are getting bullied. This essay will discuss two
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main
causes such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
bulliers
are pretending themselves as stronger and being vulnerable in nature and this essay will suggest two
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main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
like giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
and educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to behave discipline.

The cause of this problem are
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so
basic
that is
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bullying
can be a key where
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bulliers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their strength and by pretending themselves as stronger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are in the position of hurting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are weaker than
In formal / written English, it is recommended that you use a subject pronoun.
them
.
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secondly
most of the
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bulliers
have high political
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background
or even wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
.
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bullying
may lead to mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, anxiety and increasing of child crimes in the society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, in India most of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bulliers
are from political
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background
and
nearly
50 % of them from
A determiner is probably missing here: "the wealthiest".
wealthiest
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background
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot complaint against them.

Moving on to the
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solutions
,
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solutions
are not easy
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but
if
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school
institutions introduced
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some
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for
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students
then it can be possible to solve.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
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main
thing for
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school
authorities is to regulate strict
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punishment
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
such as
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montering
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students
or bags to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
whether they have any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
thing or not and
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punishments
like suspension, not allowing
Did you mean "writing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to write
exams if they caught up for
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bullying
which will
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
Possible spelling mistake found.
Villiers
from
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bullying
.
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lastly
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
approach and friendly training is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
with
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students
and educating disciplines will
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

In conclusion
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many
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students
bullied at their
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schools
this can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of political sources behind them according to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
there should be peer teaching, strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
without inequity.

IELTS essay Bullying increased in all schools

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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