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Both government and individuals are spending too much money protecting animals and their habitat. This money should be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Both government and individuals are spending too much money protecting animals and their habitat. This money should be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. v. 1
The increase in the use of banned drugs has become a common problem the world over. In competitive sports, the use of illicit drugs amongst sports persons is soaring at a staggering rate, irrespective of their repercussions. This essay will argue that out of numerous the primary cause of drug abuse is to cope with stress, while to curb this concern establishment of anti-doping law is imperative. The major cause of using illegal medicines is the pressure, many players face during their entire career. This is to say that fans and kith and kin of these players have a lot of expectations from them. They want them to perform well, gain more fame, and increase their monetary status. As a result, they use unfair means to compete with others through the use of those illegitimate agents which give them strength, stamina required by an outclass player. For instance, adrenaline, banned for all sports players because it increases the strength of the player to ten-folds, however, it is permissible to use only in minute quantities under strict surveillance. The tackle with this predicament, the governments should impose anti-doping law, according to which complete assessment of the Olympians should be done on a quarterly basis. This includes the dope test which describes the intake amount of drug which is not legally mandated a player. Moreover, legal action should be taken against them in terms of putting them behind the bars, heavy fine penalties and forbade them to play for a long duration. For example, a similar initiative was taken in Australia, and a cricket player was banned throughout their life, which resulted in the 60% decrease in drug abuse. To conclude, the performance-enhancing drugs are being used by professional players in a reckless manner because of the peer pressure and fan-following. However, this evil could be culled through strict legislation which refrains them from using illicit drugs.
The increase in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of banned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
has become a common problem the world over. In competitive sports, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of illicit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
amongst sports persons is soaring at a staggering rate, irrespective of their repercussions. This essay will argue that out of numerous the primary cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
abuse is to cope with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, while to curb this concern establishment of anti-doping law is imperative.

The major cause of using illegal medicines is the pressure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
face during their entire career. This is to say that fans and kith and kin of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
expectations from them. They want them to perform well, gain more fame, and increase their monetary status.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
unfair means to compete with others through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of those illegitimate agents which give them strength, stamina required by
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'outclass' is correct. If 'outclass' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an outclass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
.
For instance
, adrenaline, banned for all sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it increases the strength of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
to ten-folds,
however
, it is permissible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in minute quantities under strict surveillance.

The tackle with this predicament, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should impose anti-doping law, according to which complete assessment of the Olympians should
be done
on a quarterly basis. This includes the dope
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the intake amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
which is not
legally
mandated a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
.
Moreover
, legal action should
be taken
against them in terms of putting them behind the bars, heavy fine penalties and forbade them to play for a long duration.
For example
, a similar initiative
was taken
in Australia, and a cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
was banned
throughout their life, which resulted in the 60% decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
abuse.

To conclude
, the performance-enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
Consider replacing "in a reckless manner" with the adverb for "reckless"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a reckless manner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the peer pressure and fan-following.
However
, this evil could
be culled
through strict legislation which refrains them from using illicit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Both government and individuals are spending too much money protecting animals and their habitat. This money should be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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