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biology is an important subject that allows students to be aware of how to preserve different diseases.

biology is an important subject that allows students to be aware of how to preserve different diseases. QRPoy
People are considered to think that during studying at a school pupils do not get enough information on how to take care of their health. In my view, it seems to be false, because there are schools where well-qualified teachers learn looking after the health as well as solving mathematical problems. In addition, school education consists of various subjects which help to understand how a human being's organism is working. As soon as teachers are improving their pedagogical qualifications, they will study how to cope with basic life issues including being healthy. At first, the teacher is not only a person who teaches defined the subject. Actually, the teacher is the second parent who brings up pupils and educates them. For this reason, many modern schools oblige employees to take some courses which are about treating common diseases, for instance, treat sore throat. Furthermore, knowledge about processes in a human's body leads to realizing how to be healthy. Consequently, biology is an important subject that allows students to be aware of how to preserve different diseases. For example, biology explains why it is significant to sleep about eight hours every day because our brain recovers energy at night due to the hormone melatonin. Thus, during biology classes, young people can understand how to be healthy. To summarize, teachers, who finished additional courses, provide pupils with all the necessary information about a healthy lifestyle. Lastly, school education includes biology that learn students how to protect their organisms from different viruses and diseases.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are considered
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that during studying at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
pupils do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
information on how to take care of their health. In my view, it seems to be false,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
where well-qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
learn looking after the health
as well
as solving mathematical problems.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education consists of various subjects which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to understand how a human being's organism is working.

As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are improving their pedagogical qualifications, they will study how to cope with basic life issues including being healthy. At
first
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a person who teaches defined the subject. Actually, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is the second parent who brings up pupils and educates them.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
oblige employees to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses which are about treating common diseases,
for instance
, treat sore throat.

Furthermore
, knowledge about processes in a human's body leads to realizing how to be healthy.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subject that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
students to be aware of how to preserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why it is significant to sleep about eight hours every day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our brain recovers energy at night due to the hormone melatonin.
Thus
, during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
classes, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can understand how to be healthy.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, who finished additional courses, provide pupils with all the necessary information about a healthy lifestyle.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
that learn students how to protect their organisms from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
viruses and diseases.
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IELTS essay biology is an important subject that allows students to be aware of how to preserve different diseases.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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