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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction OV6m3
It is often argued that it is more advantageous to choose a job with high wage, even if it doesn't appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with this idea and think that job satisfaction is much more crucial than salary. First of all I believe that job satisfaction gives people a sense of fullfilment that no money can guarantee. although someone is weaning a high salary but feels compromises with his conscience. this person won't enjoy his life. while pursuing one's interests may bring pleasure
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that it is more advantageous to choose a job with high wage, even if it doesn't appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that job satisfaction is much more crucial than salary.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
I believe that job satisfaction gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a sense of
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfilment
that no money can guarantee.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
someone is weaning a high salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
feels compromises with his conscience.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
person won't enjoy his life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
pursuing one's interests may bring
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
pleasure

IELTS essay Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
86 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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