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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

It is ofter argued that high salary is more advantageous than people who are satisficed with their job. I will justify my view in the following paragraph. Firstly, job satisfaction gives people a sense of fulfillment that money can not guarantee. To explain it Further, people who earned high salary and feel tensed in their life then they will not be enjoy their life. people pursuing one's interest in their work they will become more happy and task will be easy to complete for them. So job satisfaction is more beneficial rather than big salary. Secondly, doing work what you like that keeps you motivated to carrier growth in your field. There is a strong relation between job satisfaction and carrier growth. To elaborate it, People who are interested in their work which they like goals. for instance, my cousin had decided to leave their everyday job even he earned and hoe he is one of the most famous authors in twentieth century therefore, the advantages of job satisfaction is greater than high salary job. In conclusion, I believed that people who satisfied with their work is beneficial as compared to those people who earn more because it keeps you happy and motivated.
It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
ofter
argued that high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is more advantageous than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
satisficed
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I will justify my view in the following paragraph.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a sense of fulfillment that money can not guarantee. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it
Further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
earned high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and feel tensed in their life then they will not be
Consider using a past participle here: "enjoyed".
enjoy
their life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
pursuing one's
Did you mean "interested"?
interest
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they will become more happy and task will be easy to complete for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more beneficial
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
Secondly
, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
what you like that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
you motivated to carrier growth in your field. There is a strong relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and carrier growth. To elaborate it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are interested
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which they like goals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, my cousin had decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
even he earned and hoe he is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
authors in twentieth century
therefore
, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is greater than high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
In conclusion
, I believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
satisfied with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is beneficial as compared to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
earn more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
you happy and motivated.

IELTS essay Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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