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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

It is often argued that it is more advantageous to choose a job with high wage, even if it doesn't appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with this opinion and think that job satisfaction is much more essential than salary. First of all, I believe that job satisfaction gives people a sense of fulfillment that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high salary, on the contrary feels tensed and compromises with his conscience, this person won’t enjoy his life. While pursuing one’s interests will always bring pleasure and feeling of satisfaction. For example, a number of well-known researchers made their career choices not because of appealing wages, on the contrary due to the fact they were passionate about science. That’s why it’s more critical to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at a high salary. Secondly, doing what you like keeps you motivated and therefore leads to a career growth. In other words, there is a strong relation between job satisfaction and productivity. People who love their jobs can easily excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those, who put salary on the first place. For instance, Henry Miller decided to leave his everyday job despite a good wage and ventured to become a writer. And after enduring years of ups and downs he became one of the most famous and well-paid authors of the twentieth century. Thus, advantages of jobs that keep you satisfied outweigh the drawback of a low salary in a long-term perspective. To conclude, I strongly believe that job satisfaction is more beneficial than high salary due to the fact it makes people happy and motivated.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that it is more advantageous to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wage, even if it doesn't appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is much more essential than salary.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a sense of fulfillment that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
,
on the contrary
feels tensed and compromises with his conscience, this person won’t enjoy his life. While pursuing one’s interests will always bring pleasure and feeling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
For example
, a number of well-known researchers made their career choices not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of appealing wages,
on the contrary
due to the fact they were passionate about science. That’s why it’s more critical to choose the kind of work that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you happy than to look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary.

Secondly
, doing what you like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
you motivated and
therefore
leads to a career growth.
In other words
, there is a strong relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and productivity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can
easily
excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those, who put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
on the
first
place.
For instance
, Henry Miller decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
his everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
despite a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
wage and ventured to become a writer. And after enduring years of ups and downs he became one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and well-paid authors of the twentieth century.
Thus
, advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you satisfied outweigh the drawback of a low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
The usual preposition for “perspective” is “from”, not “in”.
in a long-term perspective
.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more beneficial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
due to the fact it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
happy and motivated.
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IELTS essay Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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