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Big Salary Is More Important Than Job

Big Salary Is More Important Than Job 3AL0n
Big Salary Is More Important Than Job Satisfaction It is often argued that high remuneration is more significant than contentment at workplace. In my opinion, I completely agree with this statement as earning high wage greatly benefits an individual to stay blissful and motivated. Firstly, having a hefty pay scale helps a person to stay exultant. This is because when an individual receives a fat paycheck he or she can afford an exquisite lifestyle which everyone desires. Moreover, they can purchase lavish home and luxurious cars to provide themselves and their children a comfortable living. Conversely, when an individual does not have high remuneration they often feel dissatisfied and distressed which leads to diseases such as depression and heart ailments. For example, in a recent survey it was reported that 55% of individuals are afflicted with constant stress because they are not satisfied with their pay scale. Another important reason is that high income keeps an individual motivated at work. This is because when a firm pays high salaries to their employees they feel contented and passionate about their job. In other words, to propitiate the benefits that company provided to an employee, the staff works with more efficacy and tenacity. As a result, it propels the growth of both the individual and the company. For example, in 2018 in China the yearly performance of a firm grew exponentially after they had announced an increase in salaries of its employees. In conclusion, I consider that having a bigger income boosts happiness and keeps an individual encouraged to work which ultimately induces fulfillment in their lives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
Salary Is More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Important
Than Job

Satisfaction

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
remuneration is more significant than

contentment at workplace. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this

statement as earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wage
greatly
benefits an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to stay

blissful and motivated.
Firstly
, having a hefty pay scale
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a person to stay exultant. This is

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
receives a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
paycheck he or she can afford

an exquisite lifestyle which everyone desires.
Moreover
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase


lavish home and luxurious cars to provide themselves and their children a

comfortable living.
Conversely
, when an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
does not have high

remuneration they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel dissatisfied and distressed which leads to

diseases such as depression and heart ailments.
For example
, in a recent

survey it
was reported
that 55% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are afflicted
with constant

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not satisfied with their pay scale.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
motivated

at work. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when a firm pays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries to their employees

they feel contented and passionate about their job.
In other words
, to

propitiate the benefits that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
provided to an employee, the staff

works with more efficacy and tenacity.
As a result
, it propels the growth of

both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For example
, in 2018 in China the

yearly performance of a firm grew
exponentially
after they had announced

an increase in salaries of its employees.

In conclusion
, I consider that having a bigger income boosts happiness and

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
encouraged
Did you mean "working"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to work
which
ultimately
induces fulfillment

in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Big Salary Is More Important Than Job

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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