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Between public school and private school which one is better ?

Between public school and private school which one is better? 15kXL
Many people in todays society believe it’s better to go to the private schools rather than public schools. And There are different types of education that a student may receive in today’s society. To begin with. If I had to choose between those two options, I would choose public school over private school due to these following reasons. First, No tuition fee it means you don't have to pay, Public schools are cheaper than private institute. A lot of people had studied in public schools. Even though it has bad environment to study in, however It can save thousands of money which can be used in the future. Second, traditional schedule It means it has a long Holidays it can give an opportunity for those who want to spend their time together with their family. For those who live a long distance from their family can be able to travel and stay there together with their families. Moreover, we need more time to recharge or prepare and get ready for new term after a long holiday or vacation. Third, diversity Public Schools Have Greater Diversity Students learn a lot more than reading and writing in school. They also learn how to deal with different kinds of people – they learn to share this world with other humans from a different backgrounds. A student is able to experience another culture and another social skills. In conclusion, Education is definitely important in one`s life. A gift of knowledge can bring us to the top of our dreams. It leads us to the right path and gives us a chance to have a wonderful life. And choosing school to study it also depends on Personal preference too.
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Many
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people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
society believe it’s better to go to the private
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schools
rather
than
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public
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schools
. And There are
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different
types of education that a student may receive in
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today
’s society.

To
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begin
with. If I had to choose between those two options, I would choose
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public
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school
over private
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school
due to these following reasons.

First
, No tuition fee it means you don't
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have to
pay,
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Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are cheaper than private institute.
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A lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had studied in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Even though
it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
environment to study in,
however
It can save thousands of money which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the future.

Second, traditional schedule

It means it has a long Holidays it can give an opportunity for those who want to spend their time together with their family. For those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a long distance from their family can be able to travel and stay there together with their families.
Moreover
, we need more time to recharge or prepare and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready for new term after a long holiday or vacation.

Third, diversity
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Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
Have Greater Diversity

Students learn a lot more than reading and writing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. They
also
learn how to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
they learn to share this world with other humans from a
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different
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "background"?
backgrounds
. A student is able to experience another culture and another social
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skills
.

In conclusion
, Education is definitely
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important
in
The character between 'one' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "one’s" (curly apostrophe) or "one's" (straight apostrophe).
one`s
life. A gift of knowledge can bring us to the top of our dreams. It leads us to the right path and gives us a chance to have a wonderful life. And choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to study it
also
depends
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
on


Personal preference too.
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IELTS essay Between public school and private school which one is better?

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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