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Agree or Diagree? "Parents should plan their children’s leisure time carefully."

Agree or Diagree? "Parents should plan their children’s leisure time carefully. " yX71D
Nowadays, it is a big problem deciding if the children should be planning their leisure time on their own. Some say, parents should plan their children's free time while others say children should choose what to do in their leisure time. I am absolutely against the first statement due to a few reasons. First, children should know how to plan their own time naturally. As the kids become older and older, they are required to organize their time well. If they don't organize their time, they might get late for school, or they might not be able to finish their tasks on time. If parents plan every single thing the children should do in their lecture time, the children would not be able to plan their time which can cause to them not being able to organize their time in the future. Secondly, it is taking away the joy of the children. Every child in the world has something they want to do and leisure time is their only time where they can do something they want to do. However, If parents plan their child's leisure time, the child would lose the liberty in their only free time. Let's say a boy had 2 hours of leisure time a day. He has studied all they long and is really tired. Leisure time comes. He wants to watch a movie that is 1 hour and 40 minutes long. However, his parents let him watch YouTube for only 1 hour out of 2 hours and 1 hour of exercising. So, he would not have enough to watch a single movie. Like this by planning the leisure time strictly would make a child think they have no control over anything in their lives even in their free time. In conclusion, I think parents should never plan the children's leisure time and do what they want to do. If the parents plan the child's leisure time I would not call it a leisure time but I would call it a relaxing time since they don't have liberty.
Nowadays, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem deciding if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be planning their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
their children's free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
while others say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should choose what to do in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I am
absolutely
against the
first
statement due to a few reasons.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
naturally
. As the kids become older and older, they
are required
to organize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
well. If they don't organize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
late for school, or they might not be able to finish their tasks on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
every single thing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should do in their lecture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which can cause to them not being able to organize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the future.

Secondly
, it is taking away the joy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Every child in the world has something they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
they can do something they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do.
However
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
their child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the child would lose the liberty in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's say a boy had 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
a day. He has studied all they long and is
The extreme adjective for tired is "exhausted".
really tired
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
. He
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a movie
that is
1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
and 40 minutes long.
However
, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
YouTube for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
out of 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
of exercising.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he would not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a single movie. Like this by planning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
strictly
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they have no control over anything in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
even in their free time.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
the children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and do what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
the child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I would not call it a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would call it a relaxing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
since they don't have liberty.
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IELTS essay Agree or Diagree? "Parents should plan their children’s leisure time carefully. "

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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