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benefits and drawbacks of mariage and family

benefits and drawbacks of mariage and family m3Yj1
Currently, due to the development of society, marriage with foreigners is more and more popular and is no longer prohibited as in the past because people can find their great benefits. However, that is not without its negative effects. Therefore, some advantages and disadvantages of this trend will be given in the article below. Due to modernization, marrying foreigners is no longer prohibited because people's thinking has become more modern and it also brings them fascinating upsides. First, because of mix cultural marriage, people can easily receive experience and learn a new culture beyond their own. Take my aunt as an example, she was very poor at learning languages. However, thanks to her French marriage, she was able to easily learn a new language and she also could absorb the tradition as well as modern style of the French. Secondly, mixed-race children have huge advantage that they can learn other cultures and get more knowledge at a young age. For example, my cousin is a mixed Vietnamese and German, it is not a hindrance but on the contrary it is a great benefit for him because he can communicate with people who live in these two countries easily. Although marrying an outsider brings people many positive benefits, it cannot avoid negative effects. Firstly, it is very difficult for people to accept a new culture because many couples are often restricted from each other in terms of language and traditions. For example, my cousin's husband is a native speaker. She always has to deal with it about cultural disagreements and language barriers. Secondly, these couples still have difficulty in choosing the nationality of their children because each country has different laws on marriage. For instance, my aunt is pregnant and she really has to think a lot about whether she will choose the nationality for her child is Vietnamese or German. In conclusion, due to the rapid development of society and the greater comfort of people's minds, marriage with foreigners is no longer prohibited as in the past. This brings people many upsides and downsides.
Currently
, due to the development of society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
with foreigners is more and more popular and is no longer prohibited as in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find their great benefits.
However
,
that is
not without its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages of this trend will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the article below.

Due to modernization, marrying foreigners is no longer prohibited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's thinking has become more modern and it
also
brings them fascinating upsides.
First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of mix cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
receive experience and learn a new culture beyond their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Take my aunt as an example, she was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor at learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
However
, thanks to her French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, she was able to
easily
learn a new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
language and
she
also
could absorb the tradition
as well
as modern style of the French.
Secondly
, mixed-race children have huge advantage that they can learn other cultures and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more knowledge at a young age.
For example
, my cousin is a mixed Vietnamese and German, it is not a hindrance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the contrary
it is a great benefit for him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he can communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in these two countries
easily
.

Although marrying an outsider brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
benefits, it cannot avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to accept a new culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
couples are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
restricted from each other in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and traditions.
For example
, my cousin's husband is a native speaker. She always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
deal with it about cultural disagreements and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barriers.
Secondly
, these couples
still
have difficulty in choosing the nationality of their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each country has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
laws on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
.
For instance
, my aunt is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pregnant and
she
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a lot about whether she will choose the nationality for her child is Vietnamese or German.

In conclusion
, due to the rapid development of society and the greater comfort of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's minds,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
with foreigners is no longer prohibited as in the past. This brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
upsides and downsides.
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IELTS essay benefits and drawbacks of mariage and family

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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