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the-mobile-phone-has-made-a-positive-contribution-to-our-life

the-mobile-phone-has-made-a-positive-contribution-to-our-life kWJGW
Everybody can agree that the mobile phone is an amazing device. It helps us in many ways but it also hinders us in many others. In this essay I will explore the two opinions about mobile phones. Nowadays everybody owns a mobile phone even small children, this is because of all the great things that the mobile phone can do. The first thing that makes the mobile phone so convenient is the fact that you can call any one from anywhere, you can get in touch with your relatives or your friends who are living on the opposite side of the world, you can also send them messages without the need of a computer or laptop. A benefit that most people overlook while owning a mobile phone is how fast you can look something up, even when you aren’t home and even if you don’t have Wi-Fi (providing that you have the data). Mobile phones can also save lives, if a house is burning down with people inside and you are there at the right place at the right time you can easily call the fire department from your mobile phone thus saving the people inside the burning house. Some people use a mobile phone for relaxation purposes such as playing games or listening to music, Like all things in the world the mobile phone has its disadvantages. Owning a mobile phone at a young age can result in a mobile phone addiction where you use your mobile phone all the time even during dinner. This can result in problems such as dizziness, digital eye strain and neck problems. Using your phone too often could also result in social problems such as not talking while out with your friends (since you are all using your phones). In addition to this if you are using your mobile phone while you are driving you are not keeping your eyes on the road, this might get you into an accident where you or others might get hurt. Moreover, using your mobile phone to chat with your friends online can result in cybercrimes, people that use fake names or profiles target young children and pretend to be their friends. In my opinion the mobile phone is a really useful item in our lives and when used correctly it can help in various ways. I think that teenagers should be educated more on how to control their mobile phone usage.
Everybody can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is an amazing device. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
hinders us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others. In this essay I will explore the two opinions about mobile phones.

Nowadays everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of all the great things that the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
can do. The
first
thing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
convenient is the fact that you can call
Did you mean "anyone"?
any one
from anywhere, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with your relatives or your friends who are living on the opposite side of the world, you can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them messages without the need of a computer or laptop. A benefit that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
overlook while owning a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
you can look something up, even when you aren’t home and even if you don’t have Wi-Fi (providing that you have the data). Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can
also
save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is burning down with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
inside and you are there at the right place at the right time you can
easily
call the fire department from your mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
thus
saving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
inside the burning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for relaxation purposes such as playing games or listening to music,

Like all things in the world the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has its disadvantages. Owning a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
at a young age can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
addiction where you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
your mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
all the time even during dinner. This can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in problems such as dizziness, digital eye strain and neck problems. Using your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
could
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in social problems such as not talking while out with your friends (since you are all using your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones)
.
In addition
to this if you are using your mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
while you are driving you are not keeping your eyes on the road, this might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
you into an accident where you or others might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt.
Moreover
, using your mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to chat with your friends online can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
cybercrimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
fake names or profiles target young children and pretend to be their friends.

In my opinion the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is a
really
useful item in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
correctly
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in various ways. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should
be educated
more on how to control their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
usage.
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IELTS essay the-mobile-phone-has-made-a-positive-contribution-to-our-life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
405 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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