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importance of money for a happy life

importance of money for a happy life PR3Dg
Few people believe that money can buy anything and having loads of money makes them happy. In this essay, we will discuss if lots of money brings happiness. In this materialistic world, people with lots of money can buy anything they desire without having to think twice. They can have the best homes, vacations, luxury goods, education in top schools, treatment by the best doctors in the best hospitals. Although money will provide worldly goods and services, bring satisfaction and happiness, however, it may not be able to provide emotional support. These days there are many people who devote a lot of time at work in order to excel and get a good bonus and pay, including a few of my friends who have no family and are alone at home. Sometimes, they call and tell how miserable they feel when they have to stay by themself and have no one to talk with. It is not only money but also other factors that brings fulfilment in life like having good health, joyful friends, supporting family and relatives, wonderful job. Even if a person has lots of money, but has major health issues they will not be able to enjoy life. Similarly, having lots of money but no friends or family will make the person lonely. One of my friends had a rare heart condition who contacted the best doctors across the globe, but there was no treatment and he passed away at age of 34. Not always will having lots of money be the only way of a happy life, there are other aspects as well. It varies according to the nature of the person and also on the age of the person, the importance of money will vary with age and maturity. Also, there is no limit to how much money is sufficient, the person will never be satisfied and would want more and more money to be happy.
Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
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money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything and
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having
loads of
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money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happy. In this essay, we will discuss if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
brings happiness.

In this materialistic world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything they desire without
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having
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice. They can have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
homes, vacations, luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, education in top schools, treatment by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
doctors in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
hospitals. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will provide worldly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and services, bring satisfaction and happiness,
however
, it may not be able to provide emotional support. These days there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who devote a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of time at work in order to excel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
bonus and pay, including a few of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who have no family and are alone at home.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, they call and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
how miserable they feel when they
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have to
stay by
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
and have no one to talk with.

It is not
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only
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money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other factors that brings
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
in life like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
health, joyful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, supporting family and relatives, wonderful job. Even if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has major health issues they will not be able to enjoy life.
Similarly
,
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having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or family will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
lonely. One of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
had a rare heart condition who contacted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
doctors across the globe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was no
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
treatment and
he passed away at age of 34.

Not always will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way of a happy life, there are other aspects
as well
. It varies according to the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and
also
on the age of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will vary with age and maturity.
Also
, there is no limit to how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is sufficient, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will never
be satisfied
and would want more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to be happy.
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IELTS essay importance of money for a happy life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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