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benefits and drawbacks of consumerism

benefits and drawbacks of consumerism OR9pd
In these days, the high increasing of consumer demands formed consumerism and it is getting more and more common. Besides of its upsides, the consumerism brings some downsides. On the one hand, there are many reasons why consumerism is beneficial. Firstly, consumerism creates job opportunities. The more products, the more labor, the more reduction of unemployed people. For example, In Binh Duong province, the garment industry does not require a high level of education, it just has ingenuity, so it supported several poorly educated people to have stable jobs. Secondly, a country’s economy also boosts thanks to the elevated consumption of goods. To be more specific, Viet Nam focuses on producing items for domestic utilization and exporting. It increases Viet Nam’s income significantly. On the other hand, there are also a huge number of harmful effects that people should take in consideration. The first con is the harmful impact on the local environment. To illustrate this, the natural resources can be depleted if some factories overexploit it. It puts a serious issue on balancing the ecosystem. The second drawback is the discrimination and crime of materialism. Take my old school as an example. In class, a student with a wealthy living standard is loved by almost classmates, on the contrary, a student with difficult circumstances is shunned. In addition, the criminals are also formed from the lack of materials because of the envy and lust. In conclusion, consumerism could bring a huge number of positive points, but its negative consequences should be fixed.
In these days, the high increasing of consumer demands formed consumerism and it is getting more and more common.
Besides
of its upsides, the consumerism brings
some
downsides.

On the one hand, there are
many
reasons why consumerism is beneficial.
Firstly
, consumerism creates job opportunities. The more products, the more labor, the more reduction of unemployed
people
.
For example
, In
Binh
Duong
province, the garment industry does not require a high level of education, it
just
has ingenuity,
so
it supported several
poorly
educated
people
to have stable jobs.
Secondly
, a country’s economy
also
boosts thanks to the elevated consumption of
goods
. To be more specific,
Viet
Nam focuses on producing items for domestic utilization and exporting. It increases
Viet
Nam’s income
significantly
.

On the other hand
, there are
also
a huge number of harmful effects that
people
should take in consideration. The
first
con is the harmful impact on the local environment. To illustrate this, the natural resources can
be depleted
if
some
factories
overexploit
it. It puts a serious issue on balancing the ecosystem. The second drawback is the discrimination and crime of materialism. Take my
old
school as an example. In
class
, a student with a wealthy living standard is
loved
by almost classmates,
on the contrary
, a student with difficult circumstances
is shunned
.
In addition
, the criminals are
also
formed from the lack of materials
because
of the envy and lust.

In
conclusion, consumerism could bring a huge number of
positive
points,
but
its
negative
consequences should be
fixed
.
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IELTS essay benefits and drawbacks of consumerism

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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