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benefit of travelling. Why you should travel more?

benefit of travelling. Why you should travel more? k5KjM
People said, “the world is a book and countries are paper. Do you want whole your life only read a paper? " This is a say inspired in many people in travel and explore the world. Travel is a hobby of many young people keen on the move or dare themselves. But travel really miserable and costly, why people love it? In my way of thinking, travel may be a good effects of international travel on an individual for three reasons. The first point I would like to raise is this travel help boost your confidence. When you travel you will get in the situation you cannot rely on friends and relatives, or even on your language skills. This is why how travelling forces you to be resourceful and teaches you how to cope with obstacles. Maybe you used to think I can't do this or I can't do that but when you broaden your horizon and experience, you will wonder why I scare? Because you realize that you can do things, despite the obstacles and suddenly the obstacles seem less obstructive and more like welcomed challenges. The second good effect of travel is expand your relationship. When you in strange places, have a friend is necessary. They will definitely make your time abroad more enjoyable since the locals know best It is sometimes hard to build long-lasting relationship with the people you meet abroad, but it doesn't mean it's not worth meeting new people! Finally is develop cultural sensitivity, this is purpose of almost traveler. A country has lots of original culture that is interesting wait traveler explore and experience. Have you ever gone Cherry Blossom Festival or “Songkran” in Thailand or do you know when Koreans eat, they usually don't talk, loads of interesting culture and festival in countries are waiting for you explore. In short, travel have many good effects. If you want to change yourself, want to do some things new, want to has the best unique experience, what are you waiting for? Let's do a plan and receive great things that travel can provide bring to you.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
said, “the world is a book and countries are paper. Do you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
whole your life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
read a paper?
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This is a say inspired in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
and explore the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travel
is a hobby of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
keen on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
or dare themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
really
miserable and costly, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
it? In my way of thinking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
may be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effects of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
on an individual for three reasons.

The
first
point I would like to raise is this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
boost your confidence. When you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in the situation you cannot rely on friends and relatives, or even on your language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This is why how travelling forces you to be resourceful and teaches you how to cope with obstacles. Maybe you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I can't do this or I can't do that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when you broaden your horizon and experience, you will wonder why I scare?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
you realize that you can do things, despite the obstacles and
suddenly
the obstacles seem less obstructive and more like welcomed challenges.

The second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is expand your relationship. When you in strange places, have a friend is necessary. They will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your time abroad more enjoyable since the locals know best It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to build long-lasting relationship with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
abroad,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it doesn't mean it's not worth meeting new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
!

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
is
Consider using a past participle here: "developed".
develop
cultural sensitivity, this is purpose of almost traveler. A country has lots of original culture
that is
interesting wait traveler explore and experience. Have you ever gone Cherry Blossom Festival or “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Songkran
” in Thailand or do you know when Koreans eat, they
usually
don't talk, loads of interesting culture and festival in countries are waiting for you explore.

In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effects. If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
yourself,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things new,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "have".
has
the best unique experience, what are you waiting for?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's do a plan and receive great things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
can provide bring to you.
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IELTS essay benefit of travelling. Why you should travel more?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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