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being employee or self-employed

being employee or self-employed kLJ8d
In the recent climate, the staggering rate of unemployment has beset many societies. Meanwhile, a majority of individuals prefer to run their own business instead of being employees such as civil servants. Although this notion has been trending due to the low-income occupations and numerous responsibilities that employers demand, it has some drawbacks including stress and management disasters. One explanation why many people are willing to be self-employed is whose insufficient incomes. Predominantly, employees believe their hours of working are not compatible with their revenues. Therefore, it is not worth to effort. Another reason is the great numbers of them are under the pressure because of work overloads. Some of them perform instead of 2 or 3 persons in their workplaces, yet their salaries have been constant for years. Take, as a case in point, some managers who have to carry out their own jobs and the other office workers’ tasks simultaneously. There are, on the other hand, some negative consequences regarding self-employment. It will take years of training to reach the administrators' undergo. Owing to this fact, it is a real challenge for a person who stars currently and there is a high chance of failure. What is more is that when individuals are in charge of all things and should take the control of various tasks such as budget, payment, and staff over, they need to tolerate far much stress. If they failed to handle this, they might not be able to continue their jobs. This is another demerit of that. From what has been discussed and in order to draw a conclusion, self-employed has gained momentum, however, it has some minus points too.
In the recent climate, the staggering rate of unemployment has beset
many
societies. Meanwhile, a majority of individuals prefer to run their
own
business
instead
of being employees such as civil servants. Although this notion has been trending due to the low-income occupations and numerous responsibilities that employers demand, it has
some
drawbacks including
stress
and management disasters.

One explanation why
many
people
are willing to be self-employed is whose insufficient incomes.
Predominantly
, employees believe their hours of working are not compatible with their revenues.
Therefore
, it is not worth to effort. Another reason is the great numbers of them are under the pressure
because
of work overloads.
Some
of them perform
instead
of 2 or 3 persons in their workplaces,
yet
their salaries have been constant for years. Take, as a case in point,
some
managers who
have to
carry out their
own
jobs and the other office workers’ tasks
simultaneously
.

There are,
on the other hand
,
some
negative
consequences regarding
self-employment. It will take years of training to reach the administrators' undergo. Owing to this fact, it is a real challenge for a person who stars
currently
and there is a high chance of failure.
What is more
is that when individuals are in charge of all things and should take the control of various tasks such as budget, payment, and staff over, they need to tolerate far much
stress
. If they failed to handle this, they might not be able to continue their jobs. This is another demerit of that.

From what has
been discussed
and in order to draw a conclusion, self-employed has gained momentum,
however
, it has
some
minus points too.
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IELTS essay being employee or self-employed

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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