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Because of the fast pace of modern life people often eat fast food. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Because of the fast pace of modern life people often eat fast food. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? bbDjQ
There has been widespread debate over the introduction of junk food in our daily life. With people being too busy to cook at home nowadays, they are relying on processed food more than ever before even though fast foods frequently containing a considerable amount of fat is well-known. From my perspective, relying on convenience foods seems advantageous, but it has some disadvantages as well. On the one hand, it is only fitting that fast food save time for modern city dwellers spending most of their time in offices and traffic jams thereby having very little time for themselves and for cooking as well. Hence processed food would be the most convenient option for them. Although with rising popularity of convenience food restaurants are coming up with new ideas for menu by including more healthy meals. On the other hand, a lot of prepared food is high in sugar and fat. Also, it is not uncommon for ingredients of these meals not to be very fresh, let alone use of preservatives to keep food from spoiling. Additionally, even though eating in fast food restaurant can be less expensive than having a meal at home, the food we eat seems to have profound effects on out health and those trying to save some money by having cheap processed food will spend even more in future trying to cure illnesses related to poor diet. To conclude, I do believe that you can eat whatever you like as long as it is in moderation, because proper diet is all about balance. You can treat yourself with junk food, but fresh home cooked meal should be the basis of your nutrition.
There has been widespread debate over the introduction of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in our daily life. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
being too busy to cook at home nowadays, they are relying on processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
frequently
containing a considerable amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
is well-known. From my perspective, relying on convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
seems advantageous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
as well
.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fitting that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
save time for modern city dwellers spending most of their time in offices and traffic jams thereby having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time for themselves and for cooking
as well
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would be the most convenient option for them. Although with rising popularity of convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants are coming up with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for menu by including more healthy meals.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is high in sugar and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
Also
, it is not uncommon for ingredients of these meals not to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fresh,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of preservatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from spoiling.
Additionally
,
even though
eating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurant can be less expensive than having a meal at home, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
we eat seems to have profound effects on out health and those trying to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money by having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will spend even more in future trying to cure illnesses related to poor diet.

To conclude
, I do believe that you can eat whatever you like as long as it is in moderation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
proper diet is all about balance. You can treat yourself with junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fresh home cooked meal should be the basis of your nutrition.
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IELTS essay Because of the fast pace of modern life people often eat fast food. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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