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be unemployed rather than do the job they not enjoy

be unemployed rather than do the job they not enjoy 6B3K
People nowadays pay much more attention to their inner satisfaction. It is sometimes claimed that people prefer quitting their unsatisfying job to remain in that position. In my opinion, I partly agree with this views for various reasons as now will be discussed. On one hand, continually doing something unenjoyable affects people working attitude and their enthusiasm. They will feel tired and bored of doing uninteresting daily tasks and do not have motivated to do their work perfectly. For example, my friend who likes architecture but she studied medicine and became a doctor just because of her parents’ expectation usually looks depress and exhausted after work especially after night shifts. She does not care about her patients, she treats them the same as each other. Therefore, these people always aspire to get a better and more suitable career. On unemployment gives them a chance to take a break and learn new things, sharpen their skills and have opportunities to do their dream jobs. On the other hand, being employment still has a constant benefit. Firstly, we will have salary each month which satisfies our basic need such as the food, bills, transports and entertainment activities. Secondly, instead of wasting time doing nothing people can gain great experience and emerge their curriculum vitae when they are working. Thirdly, people may realize that their work is interesting after getting familiar with it. For instance, after graduate, my sister got a job which was different with her major. She felt so stress to face with the new job when started but after several weeks, she was getting familiar with her works and then totally felt in love with it. In conclusion, having an interesting job is everyone’s dream but sometime we have to accept the situation unsatisfying and find out our enthusiasm later.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
nowadays pay much more attention to their inner satisfaction. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
claimed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer quitting their unsatisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to remain in that position. In my opinion, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
Did you mean "these"?
this
views for various reasons as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
will
be discussed
.

On one hand,
continually
doing something unenjoyable affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working attitude and their enthusiasm. They will feel tired and
In standard English it's more accepted to use "bored with" or "bored by".
bored of
doing uninteresting daily tasks and do not have motivated to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
perfectly
.
For example
, my friend who likes architecture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she studied medicine and became a doctor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of her parents’ expectation
usually
looks depress and exhausted after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
especially
after night shifts. She does not care about her patients, she treats them the same as each other.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always aspire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better and more suitable career. On unemployment gives them a chance to take a break and learn new things, sharpen their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and have opportunities to do their dream jobs.

On the other hand
, being employment
still
has a constant benefit.
Firstly
, we will have salary each month which satisfies our basic need such as the food, bills, transports and entertainment activities.
Secondly
,
instead
of wasting time doing nothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can gain great experience and emerge their curriculum vitae when they are working.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may realize that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is interesting after getting familiar with it.
For instance
, after graduate, my sister
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
with her major. She felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
to face with the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after several weeks, she was getting familiar with her works and then
totally
felt in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with it.

In conclusion
, having an interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is everyone’s dream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
sometime we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
accept the situation unsatisfying and find out our enthusiasm later.
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IELTS essay be unemployed rather than do the job they not enjoy

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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