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Basic needs of individuals

Basic needs of individuals mLkMO
Individuals have some basic needs that they have to meet so as to lead their life. One of those is nutrition. Unfortunately, due to active work life and life conditions, fast food has become a new phenomenon / has become a nasty reality. Although it provides people who have an active work life with saving on timetime-saving benefits, there are numerous adverse effects of fast food. To begin with, one of the most profound effects of fast food is obesity. Obesity is quite common among adolescents. Nutritional disorders and increased the proportion of growing fast food consumption results in result in obesity. What is more, obesity is a gateway disease, therefore it paves the way for several serious diseases such as heart diseases and respiratory disorders. All of these diseases have a vital importance; hence people should not underestimate the outcomes consequences of fast food consumption. Secondly, another considerable bitter effect of fast food consumption is learning problems. It has a tremendous impact on the learning process, since it is an unhealthy food choice and it includes ingredients such as saturated fat, high salt and mayonnaise, which has have destructive effects on the human brain. Those who consume fast food frequently are deprived of some vitamins and minerals which are required for their bodies. A failure in school life is attributable to vitamin deficiency as vitamins, especially b12, have a considerable influence on memory. Taking everything into account, as an inevitable consequence of active work life, individuals tend to consume a lot fast food. There is no doubt that this situation affects their whole life, ranging from school life to daily life, a negative way. These bitter effects are likely to continue, unless people change their nutritional habits
Individuals have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic needs that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
lead their life.

One of those is nutrition. Unfortunately, due to active work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
conditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast


food has become a new phenomenon / has become a nasty reality. Although it

provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have an active work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with saving on
Possible spelling mistake found.
timetime-saving
benefits, there are numerous adverse effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
food.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the most profound effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is obesity. Obesity is

quite common among adolescents. Nutritional disorders and increased the proportion

of growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption results in result in obesity.
What is more
, obesity is a gateway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
,
therefore
it

paves the way for several serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and respiratory

disorders. All of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
have a vital importance;
hence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not

underestimate the outcomes consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption.

Secondly
, another considerable bitter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption is learning

problems. It has a tremendous impact on the learning process, since it is an

unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choice and it includes ingredients such as saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, high salt and

mayonnaise, which has
Use past participle here: "had".
have
destructive effects on the human brain. Those who

consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
frequently
are deprived
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vitamins and minerals which
are required
for their bodies. A failure in school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is attributable to vitamin deficiency as

vitamins,
especially
b12, have a considerable influence on memory.

Taking everything into account, as an inevitable consequence of active work life,

individuals tend to consume a lot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. There is no doubt that this situation

affects their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, ranging from school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way. These bitter effects are likely to continue,

unless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their nutritional habits
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IELTS essay Basic needs of individuals

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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