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Band 8 IELTS essay sample

Band 8 IELTS essay sample yXqnl
In olden days, people were skilled enough to sew their own outfits and repair household items. However, these skills seem to be vanishing in recent years due to a variety of reasons. This essay illustrates some factors contributing to this change and discusses the present day situation in my country. There are compelling reasons for the decline of such skills among humans. Nowadays, people spend more time in their work place and they find it difficult to do extra work at home. Also, there are a wide range of commercial shops and service centres available to perform such jobs in a short period of time. Due to the constant evolution of new designs, people are attracted towards such commercial markets and they forget to implement their skills. Moreover, people’s lifestyle has changed and they are earning more, so they value things less. As a result, instead of repairing the old one, people prefer to buy a better one. In my country India, there is a gradual disappearance of these skills; nevertheless, a majority of people still possess these skills. In order to save money, some women sew the clothes of their family members and some men tend to do minor repairs at homes. However, people of this generation prefer to get ready-made or fancy dresses which are readily available in market. Also, they indulge in various other leisure activities like sports and arts and hence they have little or no interest in stitching their clothes or fixing things.  In conclusion, people possessed a lot of skills in the past and now those skills are disappearing. It is the change in lifestyle and their busy schedules that makes them unwilling to do things on their own / by themselves.
In olden days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were skilled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to sew their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
outfits and repair household items.
However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
seem to be vanishing in recent years due to a variety of reasons. This essay illustrates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors contributing to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and discusses the present day situation in my country. There are compelling reasons for the decline of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
among humans. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more time in their work
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
place and
they find it difficult to do extra work at home.
Also
, there are a wide range of commercial shops and service
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
available to perform such jobs in a short period of time. Due to the constant evolution of new designs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
towards such commercial
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
markets and
they forget to implement their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle has
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
changed and
they are earning more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they value things less.
As a result
,
instead
of repairing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a better one. In my country India, there is a gradual disappearance of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
;
nevertheless
, a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
possess these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. In order to save money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
women sew the clothes of their family members and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
tend to do minor repairs at homes.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of this generation prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready-made or fancy dresses which are
readily
available in market.
Also
, they indulge in various other leisure activities like sports and arts and
hence
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no interest in stitching their clothes or fixing things.  
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
possessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in the past and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are disappearing. It is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in lifestyle and their busy schedules that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them unwilling to do things on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
/ by themselves.
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IELTS essay Band 8 IELTS essay sample

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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