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Australia currently has very few cases of COVID-19 and only vary rare instances of community transmission. In order to preserve this situation, the Australian government has decided to close its borders for the foreseeable future. To what extent do you agree with this approach?

Australia currently has very few cases of COVID-19 and only vary rare instances of community transmission. In order to preserve this situation, the Australian government has decided to close its borders for the foreseeable future. qV78G
Australia is currently in the enviable position of having almost no transmission of COVID-19, and as a result, the government is planning to keep the borders closed for several more years. Although having strict border controls makes sense at the present time, I am of the opinion that the borders should be opened as soon as the vaccine rollout is complete. There are a number of reasons why it makes sense to keep Australia’s borders closed right now. If Australia opens its borders completely, it is likely that the virus will enter the country and start spreading throughout the community. As can be seen around the world, this would result in the death of many people. In addition, if the virus spreads around the country, federal, state and local governments may have to introduce lockdowns to prevent further community transmission. These lockdowns do considerable damage to small businesses, people’s mental health and the economy generally. However, considering the introduction of vaccines, I believe that the borders should be opened in the relatively near future. Evidence from around the world is showing that vaccines are extremely effective at preventing not only serious illness, but also transmission of the virus. This would indicate that once Australia has provided vaccine access to its entire population, it will be relatively safe to open the borders. Furthermore, not opening the borders even after a complete vaccine rollout will promote vaccine hesitancy. Australians will ask themselves why they should get a vaccine if the government acts like a vaccinated population is still unsafe. In conclusion, while taking a zero-risk approach to borders is not without merit, I believe that, once a vaccine is provided to all Australians, it is appropriate to open the borders. Analysis: The most common way to approach a 'To what extent do you agree' question is to take a strong opinion one-sided approach. Almost all teachers recommend this because it is simpler and generally speaking writers at any level can give a clear position
Australia is
currently
in the enviable position of having almost no transmission of COVID-19, and
as a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
closed for several more years. Although having strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
border
controls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense at the present time, I am of the opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
should
be opened
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
rollout is complete.

There are a number of reasons why it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
Australia’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
closed right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. If Australia opens its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
completely, it is likely that the virus will enter the country and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
spreading throughout the community. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
around the world, this would result in the death of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
, if the virus spreads around the country, federal, state and local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
introduce lockdowns to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
further
community transmission. These lockdowns do considerable damage to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s mental health and the economy
generally
.

However
, considering the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
should
be opened
in the
relatively
near future. Evidence from around the world is showing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
are
extremely
effective at preventing not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
serious illness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
transmission of the virus. This would indicate that once Australia has provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
access to its entire population, it will be
relatively
safe to open the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
.
Furthermore
, not opening the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
even after a complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
rollout will promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
hesitancy. Australians will ask themselves why they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
acts like a vaccinated population is
still
unsafe.

In conclusion
, while taking a zero-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
approach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
is not without merit, I believe that, once a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
is provided
to all Australians, it is appropriate to open the borders.

Analysis:

The most common way to approach a 'To what extent do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
' question is to take a strong opinion one-sided approach. Almost all teachers recommend this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is simpler and
generally
speaking writers at any level can give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
position
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IELTS essay Australia currently has very few cases of COVID-19 and only vary rare instances of community transmission. In order to preserve this situation, the Australian government has decided to close its borders for the foreseeable future.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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