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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer 0Ap6G
Universities are important to us since it offer us an education, which prepares us for our carrier. When it comes to who will recive financial support, all activities are crucial. I think that classes and libraries are more important than it is social activities and sports. First, giving more financial support to classes and libraries than it is social activities and sports allows the student to cultivate more knowledge. It is more likely for students to be well educated if they have qualified libraries and classes because they provide the student with the information they need to succeed. For example, last year, my brother graduated from Cairo University. Cairo University offers a lot of found to sports and social activities. Therefore, my brother graduated with fair grades because he spent most of his time in sports rather than studying his lessons. However, I graduated from the University of Khartoum. Although we had sport and social activity, most of the university funds went to classes and libraries. As they are the source of information and they help people grow smarter and improve their learning skills. Hence, it allows me to graduate with high grades and have a satisfying job in the future. As a result, educationally spending more money in class and libraries gives students the opportunity to expand their knowledge and realize their potential. If my universities had not spent more money on libraries and classes, I would definitely have not had high grades and a good job. Moreover, the equal investment in both libraries and sports stadium would give bad adverts for the universities. The level of the library and classes will help students to predict the university level. If students had to choose between two universities, one with advanced libraries, and the other one with advanced sports stadiums, definitely they will choose the former one. For example, five years ago, when I finished high school, I had to apply to university. Honestly, it is hard for me to choose because I’m young and I did not have enough experience. My father helped me, he advised me to choose a university that had good libraries and classes. Hence, I choose Khartoum University, which allows me to cultivate Knowledge. As a result, I graduated with an honorary degree and I get a satisfying job. If I had not chosen a university that spends more money on libraries and classes, I would not have had high grades.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to us since it offer us an education, which prepares us for our carrier. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to who will
Possible spelling mistake found.
recive
financial support, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are crucial. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and libraries are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and sports.

First
, giving more financial support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and libraries than it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to cultivate more knowledge. It is more likely for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
if they have qualified libraries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with the information they need to succeed.
For example
, last year, my brother graduated from Cairo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
. Cairo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
found to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Therefore
, my brother graduated with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he spent most of his time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
rather
than studying his lessons.
However
, I graduated from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Khartoum. Although we had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
funds went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and libraries. As they are the source of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
information and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
grow smarter and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Hence
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
me to graduate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
and have a satisfying job in the future.
As a result
,
educationally
spending more money in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and libraries gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the opportunity to expand their knowledge and realize their potential. If my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
had not spent more money on libraries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, I would definitely have not had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.

Moreover
, the equal investment in both libraries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stadium would give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
adverts for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. The level of the library and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to predict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
level. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, one with advanced libraries, and the other one with advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stadiums, definitely they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the former one.
For example
, five years ago, when I finished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school, I had to apply to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Honestly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I’m young and I did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience. My father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me, he advised me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
that had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
libraries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
Hence
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
Khartoum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
me to cultivate Knowledge.
As a result
, I graduated with an honorary degree and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a satisfying job. If I had not chosen a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
that spends more money on libraries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, I would not have had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
.
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IELTS essay At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
406 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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