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At the present time,the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. pVny
In current times, we can observe a growing number of youthful adults in some countries, In comparison to the elderly folks. I firmly believe that the beneficial effects of the young generation are greater than its drawback. In this essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages and explain why I feel that it has more benefits. On the one hand, there are numerous drawbacks older people and it is normally. Older people cannot deliver the same work stamina as younger people can. They prefer to read some books or do some easy activities. For instance, improved countries(A-class) population consist of mostly younger. As a result, their economy is progressing rapidly. Besides, the old generation do not prefer and like to live rapid life(noisy situation), so it is another drawback for the country and the older. On the other hand, Moreover, children are the future of a country, and the elderly have already played their roles. On the contrary, the young generation is the active workforce and can lead to the overall growth of the country. The young generation can learn things faster and can share ideas, and this is why they are better leaders. However, old generation experience is vital for the young and they help young adults about life experience. Consequently, both of them are essential for the countries, but the young adults live faster and help country growth more than older. To conclude, The advantages of having more young adults are more as compared to the disadvantages. It is the young people who are the backbone of a prosperous country.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
times, we can observe a growing number of youthful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
In comparison
to the elderly folks. I
firmly
believe that the beneficial effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation are greater than its drawback. In this essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I feel that it has more benefits.

On the one hand, there are numerous drawbacks older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it is
normally
. Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot deliver the same work stamina as younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can. They prefer to read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
books or do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
easy activities.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
countries(A-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
) population consist of
mostly
younger.
As a result
, their economy is progressing
rapidly
.
Besides
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation do not prefer and like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
rapid life(noisy situation),
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is another drawback for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and the older.

On the other hand
,
Moreover
, children are the future of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, and the elderly have already played their roles.
On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation is the active workforce and can lead to the
overall
growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation can learn things faster and can share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, and this is why they are better leaders.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation experience is vital for the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
young and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
about life experience.
Consequently
, both of them are essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
faster and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
growth more than older.

To conclude
, The advantages of having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the disadvantages. It is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are the backbone of a prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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