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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? oQxB
Each day the number of people living on the Earth significantly grows. As a result, the population of some countries consists of young people more the older people. I believe that this has more benefits than drawbacks. The disadvantage of this is that the particular nation does not save its customs anymore. People who know a lot about the history and the culture of the country play a great role in the future life of whole population, and a decrease of them will have a negative effect. For example, there will no be more traditional celebrations or holidays which allow everyone to feel themselves united. For younger nation there are things more essential, than old activities. Despite this, there are numerous advantages in the increasing number of young people. First of all, a modern generation makes the future: some years later they also will live in this environment, so they may create it specially for their needs and requests. For instance, creating by young adults an average of new technology allows them to use if more beneficial. Therefore, fresh skills will be very helpful for the world. By the way, young employees are the main economical resource for the country: they ought to work a lot to get enough salary for a better life, so the increasing trend of their amount will positively influence on the financial system of the state. In conclusion, there are a lot of challenges occurred in the case of a huge number of young adults in some countries. I believe that such integration may create in the nearest future a great deal with modern development.
Each day the number of
people
living on the Earth
significantly
grows.
As a result
, the population of
some
countries
consists of
young
people
more the older
people
. I believe that this has more benefits than drawbacks.

The disadvantage of this is that the particular nation does not save its customs anymore.
People
who know a lot about the history and the culture of the
country
play a great role in the future life of whole population, and a decrease of them will have a
negative
effect.
For example
, there will
no
be more traditional celebrations or holidays which
allow
everyone to feel themselves united. For younger nation there are things more essential, than
old
activities.

Despite this, there are numerous advantages in the increasing number of
young
people
.
First of all
, a modern generation
makes
the future:
some
years later they
also
will
live
in this environment,
so
they may create it
specially
for their needs and requests.
For instance
, creating by
young
adults an average of new technology
allows
them to
use
if more beneficial.
Therefore
, fresh
skills
will be
very
helpful for the world.

By the way,
young
employees are the main economical resource for the
country
: they ought to work a lot to
get
enough
salary for a better life,
so
the increasing trend of their amount will
positively
influence on the financial system of the state.

In conclusion
, there are
a lot of
challenges occurred in the case of a huge number of
young
adults in
some
countries
. I believe that such integration may create in the nearest future a great deal with modern development.
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IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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