Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? eVkp
In this day and age, Increasing in the youngsters’ population in some parts of the world is overcoming the older population. Although this case has a plethora of advantages, it also has some disadvantage. In my opinion, this case has more pros than cons. This essay will juxtapose the both sides and will finally ends with my opinion. On the one hand, having more young people mean that you have more powerful and energetic work environment. They try their best to go against all odds, push themselves to their limits and work hard to get higher positions in that work and make their parents more proud of them. For instance, when more youth are hired in a therapeutic company, they do their best to get promotions. As a result, better fruits are delivered to the consumer. Finally, the country goes towards better life induced by enthusiastic workforce. On the other hand, having young citizen as overpopulation will lead to deficit in educational system and schools. For example, if there are 20 students in the class, their focus will be better than if there are 50 one. As a result, the government needs to raise the number of schools as well as the teachers there. Another argument is job opportunities; it becomes more challenging and competitive. Furthermore, it will put more stress on the shoulder of the youth. To exemplify, if there is one job offer in the company, a lot of adults will apply for this job, but only one who will get it. It leads to a significant increase in unemployment in this nation. Bottom line, I opine that adults are the backbone of the countries. They can ameliorate the economic situation in this country compared to elder ones who are more dependent.
In this day and age, Increasing in the youngsters’ population in
some
parts of the world is overcoming the older population. Although this case has a plethora of advantages, it
also
has
some
disadvantage. In my opinion, this case has more pros than cons. This essay will juxtapose the both sides and will
finally
ends
with my opinion.

On the one hand, having more young
people
mean that you have more powerful and energetic work environment. They try their best to go against all odds, push themselves to their limits and work
hard
to
get
higher positions in that work and
make
their parents more proud of them.
For instance
, when more youth
are hired
in a therapeutic
company
, they do their best to
get
promotions.
As a result
, better fruits
are delivered
to the consumer.
Finally
, the country goes towards better life induced by enthusiastic workforce.

On the other hand
, having young citizen as overpopulation will lead to deficit in educational system and schools.
For example
, if there are 20 students in the
class
, their focus will be better than if there are 50 one.
As a result
, the
government
needs to raise the number of schools
as well
as the teachers there.

Another argument is job opportunities; it becomes more challenging and competitive.
Furthermore
, it will put more
stress
on the shoulder of the youth. To exemplify, if there is one job offer in the
company
,
a lot of
adults will apply for this job,
but
only
one who will
get
it. It leads to a significant increase in unemployment in this nation.

Bottom line, I opine that adults are the backbone of the countries. They can ameliorate the economic situation in this country compared to elder ones who are more dependent.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts