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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared to the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation overweigh the disadvantages?

There are many advantages in having population of young age. Younger adults are very motivated and enthusiatic, thus they are always ready to involve in state development. Younger people are also good at mastering new technologies, which is essential for almost every kind of job. In addition, young adult mostly do not require financial assitance from the state. One of the most important pre-condition for state development is having educated and motivated people in public sector. Many youngsters aim professional growth after graduating from university and are ready to take up such jobs, furthermore, they accept comparably lower salaries. Modern jobs mostly require using computers and other deviceses. Younger people can easily comprehend all necessary programs and applications, while older adults often have trouble learning how to use them. Consequently, companies are more expected to recruite younger employees than the older ones. As long as most people retire in their older ages, every state pays them pension, which is collected from taxes paid by taxpayers. Taxpayers are people who work and have income. Younger people have their own earnings and do not need state aid, in contrary, they make financial contribution, which is used to help olders ones. Hence, if the number of young adults is larger compared to that of older people, the state would not need to spend a lot of recourses for social programs. In conclusion, I think, that advantages of having more young people in population than older adults overwigh its disatvantages, because youngsters do not need financial support from the state and instead, they make their own contribution.
There are
many
advantages in having population of
young
age.
Younger
adults
are
very
motivated and
enthusiatic
,
thus
they are always ready to involve in
state
development.
Younger
people
are
also
good
at mastering new technologies, which is essential for almost every kind of job.
In addition
,
young
adult
mostly
do not require financial
assitance
from the state.

One of the most
important
pre-condition
for
state
development is having educated and motivated
people
in public sector.
Many
youngsters aim professional growth after graduating from university and are ready to take up such jobs,
furthermore
, they accept
comparably
lower salaries.

Modern jobs
mostly
require using computers and other
deviceses
.
Younger
people
can
easily
comprehend all necessary programs and applications, while
older
adults
often
have trouble learning how to
use
them.
Consequently
,
companies
are more
expected
to
recruite
younger
employees than the
older
ones.

As long as most
people
retire in their
older
ages, every
state
pays them pension, which
is collected
from taxes paid by taxpayers. Taxpayers are
people
who work and have income.
Younger
people
have their
own
earnings and do not need
state
aid, in contrary, they
make
financial contribution, which is
used
to
help
olders
ones.
Hence
, if the number of
young
adults
is larger compared to that of
older
people
, the
state
would not need to spend
a lot of
recourses for social programs.

In conclusion
, I
think
, that advantages of having more
young
people
in population than
older
adults
overwigh
its
disatvantages
,
because
youngsters do not need financial support from the
state
and
instead
, they
make
their
own
contribution.
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IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared to the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation overweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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